Believe in Jesus and you'll even make a good wife!

On the flight to Nigeria, I met a guy from Zambia who's going there to worship.  We began our conversation initially because he noticed that I "prayed" before meal.  I got into a habit of giving thanks before eating a meal...I don't really say grace, but just sort of give thanks, without uttering any words out loud, appreciating the fact that I'm lucky enough to have food in front of me while many others don't.  So this guy asked me about it.  He asked, so who do you give thanks to?  Yourself? God? The chef? All of the above?  I guess I never got into that level of details when I give thanks, so that sparked further discussions.

I thought it was interesting that he has to go all the way from Zambia via Mozambique via Kenya to reach Nigeria to go to church (I assumed there are probably many churches in Zambia, and I didn't really consider Nigeria a pilgrimage destination), so I asked him more about it despite of a little voice inside me warning me that this may turn into one of those awkward conversations where I have to explain why I'm not a Christian, and how they then try to politely tell me I'm a lovely lady, but should really believe in God and get salvation through the power of Jesus.  Despite the occasional awkward moments in our conversation, there were some interesting things that came out during his subtle attempt to convert me into Christianity.

First was the challenge to surrender oneself to a higher power.  This is definitely a biggest personal challenge when it comes to spirituality.  I like being in control too much that surrendering myself to anyone is difficult, let alone to some being that has not quite yet proven reliable to me in a personal way.  I believe there is a supernatural power, may it be the spirits, God, or whatever...but whatever or whoever "IT" is, has remained purely an intellectual exercise...In general, I believe in karma, and believe that most of my accomplishment was the result of hard work, good planning, and lots of luck/help from others.  Without one of which probably I wouldn't have get to where I am today. That's a lot of pride, I know, and I suppose you could argue that the last element of luck may be what God has put in place to help me; but truly, if I did pray, but take no action/put in no hard work, would I still achieve the same result?  I believe not.  With that said, the message I have been given over and over again in Africa is that if I have faith, God will answer my prayers, just like that, and THAT leap of faith is just too hard to take because there's too much to lose if it doesn't work.  The risk is too big.

I suppose I have demonstrated the capability of having faith.  I have faith that a plane is going to successfully take me from Nairobi to Lagos, but that's because Kenya Airway has a good track record of doing that successfully.  I have faith that if I work hard, some positive results will happen since that has always been the case for me.  The truth is, I have not had many incidents where things just miraculously happen to me for God to be relevant enough in my day-to-day life, and frankly I would feel irresponsible to just throw God all the difficult problems in my life and expect Him to sort it out for me.  I mean, he probably has better things to do, like, fixing the economic crisis or the middle east conflict or something like that.  If I can sort something out, why bother God?

If you take answering prayer out of the discussion, then a main purpose of religion is to maintain social order.  So I asked the Zambian guy, if I'm a good person, why does it matter if I believe in Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad or anyone else?  He responded, how do you know you're good?  I guess that's a question I never asked myself.  I never thought I was "perfect", but I do believe I know "right" from "wrong" most of the time, and try to be a good person the best way I know how.  I recognize that sometimes my pride and laziness get the best of me when it comes to certain things...nonetheless, I never questioned or thought that I may be innately a "bad" person since I have not stolen, killed, cheated, do drug...etc.

This led us to a more fundamental question I think is maybe a key difference between why this guy and I believe or do not believe in Jesus/God - are human fundamentally good or evil?  (it's really quite amazing the kind of conversation that takes place on a plane ride with a complete stranger) I argued, if you believe people are fundamentally evil, then "God" will need to set the rules (i.e. 10 commandment...etc.) to discipline people and punish negative behaviors which give people pleasure (if they are inherently evil)...However, if you believe people are good in nature, then we inherently know what's good, and will feel awful if we do bad things...in this case then, "God" plays more of a role of a mentor who will provide support so we don't get confused in the face of various temptations to do bad things (and feel bad afterwards, kind of like the shitty feeling you get after a crazy night when you know you did stuff you shouldn't have done)...In the later case, you may argue, God's role is less critical if people have enough discipline.  I tend to believe people are generally good, which I suppose might be why whether God exist or not matters less to me.

I always find amusing the polite smile African gives a foreigner even when they intensely disagree with you.  That was the exact expression I got from Mr. Zambian.  He said to me, "I believe people are fundamentally evil, without God, the world will be like hell."  His statement shocked me back to reality, and highlighted the one thing I failed to recognize.  For me, life has been good, I have a lot of resource at my disposal so I can control my own destiny.  For him, life has been nothing but a series of unfortunate events, from both a national history and a personal survival stand point, he has so little resource and control over his life, if there is no God, what else can convince him that staying good pays off, and believe there will be justice?  I suppose that leap of faith helps a lot in hopeless situations...and it could be liberating to give that responsibility out to a higher being when one has so little control over his surroundings.  Maybe that is why people are more religious in more desperate situations...and maybe I should feel lucky for having the luxury of this intellectual/spiritual debate that I am having...

As we part, he said to me..."I really hope you will believe in Jesus one day, you might even make a good wife!" As much as I don't see the relevance between the two statements, I found it quite cute, and maybe, that's my path out of singleton, haha.

Alternative career planning strategy?

Lately I began questioning my approach to career planning to-date.  Don't get me wrong, I think I've made good decisions, enjoyed the work in all my previous jobs, and have grown a lot professionally.  No regrets there.  However, my approach has always been very structured, "planful", and goal oriented.  I first identify what "my interests" are, what "my salary requirements" are, where "I want to be" in 5 years.  Then I would narrow down my options and backed out a path whereby specific education/credentials or experiences in certain companies would be identified and pursued so that I can explore an area of interest or fill certain skill gaps.  This way, I am sure to be able to put a certain bullet point on my resume to get to the next job I've got my eyes set on.  This approach has worked very well for me, but I noticed a few potentially troublesome themes: (a) my career is all about developing "me"; I pick a job because it serves my desire to get to the next job, which will get me to the next job vs. I'm doing this job because I love it and it allows me to fulfill a purpose now (b) since a job is picked to get to the next job, I'm forever postponing that perfect job that I will stay with (c) this method of career planning puts control 100% on me, which means that it is possible that I overlook certain opportunities simply because I wasn't in the right mindset when that opportunity came along or I was too focused on a different direction. (d) this approach assumes the career path will forever lead/advance somewhere; however, the reality is, the path will end at one point since not everyone can be the CEO.  So, when career progression feels a little bit like playing the Angry Bird game where you're always working to pass the next level, how would one feel when there's no more next level?  Will there be a sense of void? or sense of defeat? How can one recognize the end of the "path" when it's presented to you?

After working in Africa for almost 4 months now, I see so many opportunities, and so many places I could contribute my skills.  I'm definitely not the smartest person I know; however, I am probably among the top 1% best educated people within a 100 mile radius here.  With that comes a sense of responsibility to do something good/useful with this precious knowledge and skill I've been bestowed.  Already, I felt that I'm making an impact and helping a small organization progress little by little.  And while doing so, I am also learning and growing.  I'm learning about things that I wouldn't normally put on a corporate individual development plan or consider "career development" based on my typical way of career planning.  I'm learning about people, culture, and random things that I can never articulate on a resume.  How do you put into a bullet point when a lady int he village tells you how your lights have transformed her life?  How do you summarize in a "situation-action-result" format in a few words the craziness one will have to put up with to get a certain paperwork through to be able to do your job?  All these are unexpected experiences that I would never actively seek out if I'm left in charge to "manage" my own career.  However, all these are invaluable experiences that not only made me grow as an individual, but also allow me to do something bigger than myself.

So the question is...rather than continue to seize full control and manage my career the way I would manage a business, would it be better for me to give the control away to the universe and forget about career paths, to throw away career development plans, and just go where I are needed most and where my skills will make the most impact (with certain base criteria such as "being able to financially support myself" of course)?  Will this be a career suicide or career liberation?  What do you think?