Perhaps the initial excitement of moving to a new country is wearing off, my tolerance for some aspects of living in Africa as a "mzungu" (foreigner) is wearing off slowly but surely.
One of the biggest annoyance about living in Africa is constantly being treated as though I have a "withdraw money here" sign on my forehead. I have been asked persistently by my old housekeeper to "give her something" despite she was forbidden by management to do so. I have been told that I should just give my products to people for free. I am often expected by people to pay for their meals. And, my African business partners seem to think that we have unlimited amount of fund and treats the investment that we've put into their business as "aid money" that does not have any strings attached.
Last night, (Chinese New Years Eve), this came up again. This time it bothered me more than normal for some reason. One of the night guards called my apartment around 9:30p, just after I had returned from dinner. He asked me for 1000ksh (~$12). He said, he has some chest pain, and he wants to go to the hospital but doesn't have money. There are roughly 20 units in my apartment complex. Although I have been friendly with the guards, I would say our "friendship" stops at the basic greeting level. I was a little bit taken back for being singled out, and I was very much torn as to whether I should trust the person on the phone or not since the person looked very much fine when I saw him just 10 minutes ago! I asked him, "are you OK, are you going to the hospital now?" He said, "no, I want to go to the hospital tomorrow". "Pheww, good, this is not urgent", I thought to myself. I then asked, "this is very strange to me, do you normally ask tenants for money?", and he confirmed that he was told by the company that the employees are not allowed to ask the tenants for money. (even though that rule clearly had no bearing on their actual behavior). I am not sure if it's the annoyance that has been built up over the last 5 months, or if it's good judgement, I decided that since it's not OK to set a precedence, I should not give him the money, so I told him I can't give him money because it'll be breaking the rule his company specifically told him. He said, "OK"...
After I hung up the phone, I had this good angel vs. evil angel moment. One is saying, so what that he could be lying? What IF with the 5% chance he really had chest pain and doesn't have money to go to the hospital? It's only $12, how much does a human life cost to you, what's there to lose, really? The other one is saying, it is not your problem, you'll be setting a bad precedence, and more of this kind of scenario will come up in the future to you and other tenants, it's just not something you want to encourage. Doesn't he have families and friends? Why is he asking YOU for money? This is Nairobi, and 1000ksh IS affordable for a night guard. This morning, I left early for the airport, both guards looked perfectly healthy, so I guess that shuts the 2nd angel up...nonetheless, I still can't get this out of my head.
To me, asking someone for money is such a difficult, and even shameful thing to do...It's difficult because in the sense, you're admitting to someone that you cannot even take care of yourself, and are being a burden to others. However, that just doesn't seem to be a problem here. Asking someone for something seems commonplace and even expected. Africans have no problem asking family members or friends who have good jobs and make better income. And given the frequency I'm asked for stuff, clearly they have no question asking complete strangers for money as well even though they are not beggars. I remember meeting this one salesperson in Kano, Nigeria, the next time I see him, the first words he said to me was "what did you bring for me?" I hardly know the guy!
What makes me particularly angry and frustrated is that tourists, particularly American tourists, are perpetuating the problem by sprinkling $ bills everywhere they go. Exorbitant tipping (compared to local standards), passing out candies/pen/dollar bills to street kids, taking people's photo and turning it into a "transaction"...etc. All these behaviors are just perpetuating the belief that foreigners have money, and we are going to continue to participate in this unequal, dependent relationship that has its ill root since colonial times. Most Africans are not sophisticated to tell the difference between American, European, Asian people, let along if you are wealthy, budget backpackers, or flat out broke! To them, we are all "Europeans"! I sincerely hope that I will live to see the day that African can hold themselves as equals to the foreigners, despite of their GDP. I simply refuse to believe that dignity and pride can only belong to people with bank accounts.
One of the biggest annoyance about living in Africa is constantly being treated as though I have a "withdraw money here" sign on my forehead. I have been asked persistently by my old housekeeper to "give her something" despite she was forbidden by management to do so. I have been told that I should just give my products to people for free. I am often expected by people to pay for their meals. And, my African business partners seem to think that we have unlimited amount of fund and treats the investment that we've put into their business as "aid money" that does not have any strings attached.
Last night, (Chinese New Years Eve), this came up again. This time it bothered me more than normal for some reason. One of the night guards called my apartment around 9:30p, just after I had returned from dinner. He asked me for 1000ksh (~$12). He said, he has some chest pain, and he wants to go to the hospital but doesn't have money. There are roughly 20 units in my apartment complex. Although I have been friendly with the guards, I would say our "friendship" stops at the basic greeting level. I was a little bit taken back for being singled out, and I was very much torn as to whether I should trust the person on the phone or not since the person looked very much fine when I saw him just 10 minutes ago! I asked him, "are you OK, are you going to the hospital now?" He said, "no, I want to go to the hospital tomorrow". "Pheww, good, this is not urgent", I thought to myself. I then asked, "this is very strange to me, do you normally ask tenants for money?", and he confirmed that he was told by the company that the employees are not allowed to ask the tenants for money. (even though that rule clearly had no bearing on their actual behavior). I am not sure if it's the annoyance that has been built up over the last 5 months, or if it's good judgement, I decided that since it's not OK to set a precedence, I should not give him the money, so I told him I can't give him money because it'll be breaking the rule his company specifically told him. He said, "OK"...
After I hung up the phone, I had this good angel vs. evil angel moment. One is saying, so what that he could be lying? What IF with the 5% chance he really had chest pain and doesn't have money to go to the hospital? It's only $12, how much does a human life cost to you, what's there to lose, really? The other one is saying, it is not your problem, you'll be setting a bad precedence, and more of this kind of scenario will come up in the future to you and other tenants, it's just not something you want to encourage. Doesn't he have families and friends? Why is he asking YOU for money? This is Nairobi, and 1000ksh IS affordable for a night guard. This morning, I left early for the airport, both guards looked perfectly healthy, so I guess that shuts the 2nd angel up...nonetheless, I still can't get this out of my head.
To me, asking someone for money is such a difficult, and even shameful thing to do...It's difficult because in the sense, you're admitting to someone that you cannot even take care of yourself, and are being a burden to others. However, that just doesn't seem to be a problem here. Asking someone for something seems commonplace and even expected. Africans have no problem asking family members or friends who have good jobs and make better income. And given the frequency I'm asked for stuff, clearly they have no question asking complete strangers for money as well even though they are not beggars. I remember meeting this one salesperson in Kano, Nigeria, the next time I see him, the first words he said to me was "what did you bring for me?" I hardly know the guy!
You don't even need to go to Africa to experience that. Doesn't the same happen to us whenever we go back to our home countries, and families all expect you to be better off than them and start paying for things? Human nature is the most mystifying thing.
ReplyDeleteI guess I don't have a big family, so haven't experience that as much when I return to Taiwan. A souvenir is expected, but I never have friends asking me for money simply because I got back from the US, not even the ones who are financially much less worse off.
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