Which of your five fingers is the best?

Working in China and learning to manage a Chinese team has got to be one of the most challenging thing I have to do so far in my career.  It's challenging because in addition to the issue of lacking good talent I faced in Africa, the organization in China has grown to a size where chaos is much more difficult to get under control.  Moreover, culturally speaking, the Chinese are much more delicate and sensitive than Africans to deal with. Perhaps it's because of years of evolution, I find that the Chinese pay much more attention to the "intention" behind the words rather than taking the words literally.  The danger of this is that these "intention" is derived/speculated based on one individual's experience of another, and there is no way to validate if one's speculation is correct or not; so if one is not careful, he/she can be quickly misunderstood and a rift could be built between 2 people.  Lastly, the one child policy seem to have create a generation of young professionals that (1) believe they are the best and smartest, even though from many perspective, there are still much room for improvement, (2) doesn't take criticism very well since they've been praised by parents and grandparents growing up, and (3) has a very different work ethic, having grown up pampered by 3 sets of adults.  For the good talents, the abundance of job opportunities in China seem to perpetuate these beliefs; and for the not-so-great talents, there seem to be a way to simply refuse to accept the truth.  Case in point, more than one incident have I heard cases in China where employees refused to get fired even though they were dismissed for proper reasons and in accordance to the labor law.  People may still show up at the office to protest in silence, send threats to their supervisors, and sometimes policemen need to be involved.   Sucks being a boss in China, right!?

Although I grew up in Taiwan, from a professional stand point, I am quite blunt and direct with my opinions - in another word, very American.  What's worse is that I have a pretty high standard and require a significant amount of details to be convinced.  This, combined with the cultural reality on the ground, is a lethal combination.  Even though my comments are pointed towards the issue, part of me is pretty sure people are taking my comments quite personally.  Slowly, my days begin to be filled with passive-aggressive conflicts, alignment and realignment, yet despite of my best effort to push things through, not much progress seem to be made.

So, what to do?  How might I make the best out of a sub-optimal workforce and make them 'work'!?  How could I find better people to work with me or make them better?  A wise Taiwanese colleague responded to my challenge with an intriguing question: "which of your five fingers is the best one?"  As he expected, I couldn't answer the question.  "They are all different!" I said.  "That is the point.  Each finger has its purpose, and they cannot substitute the other.  It's the leader's job to figure out when to use the index finger, when to use the thumb, so on and so forth."  So, instead of trying to make everyone perfect, the best thing to do, might be to figure out what each person is good at, and instead of improving their weakness, utilize their strength.  For example, some people are great presenters.  Then make them present, but be sure you check what they're presenting if they are not good thinkers and can't come up with good contents.   Others are great thinkers but cannot put their thoughts down on paper, then give them tasks to think, but coach them on writing skills.  This theory makes perfect sense!  It reminds me of books like Strength Finder, which I have reference in my past for personal development, but in this case, it's also quite applicable for managing people!

In fact, as leaders, it's not possible to be good at everything either.  So we should leverage resources around us to supplement areas we're not good at.  These resources could be our subordinates, but it could also be external agencies, people from other departments...etc., smart leaders get creative about how and where they get their resources and are quite strategic about it.  Also, a good leader doesn't necessarily have all the answers, but he/she is good at mobilizing resources around him/her to maximize results.  And to gain these skills, it requires one to spend time with people, and develop broad experience and "database" of different types of people and when they work best (similar to how many large corporations utilizes Myers-Briggs).  For someone like me who are so accustomed to spending time dealing with "issues", while this is an obvious point, it requires a shift in mindset and focus that is still a work in progress.

Another interesting idea prompted by the "five finger" question is the idea of hiring a team vs. hiring the top talents into the company.  Having a hand with 5 middle finger wouldn't be very helpful even though you've got 5 of the longest fingers.  Perhaps sometimes mindfully hiring a team where each member complement each other would yield better results, especially when there is good dynamic between them.

I suppose at the end of the day, running a team is a bit like playing chess.  Each chess piece has its function, and the player must decide how to use each piece to win the game.  For the most part, a game is not won by a few super star moves, instead, a game is won through a series of moves carefully plotted by the player and executed by a "team" of chess pieces.  It seems to me that having a true understanding of the strengths and weakness of the team and figuring out a way to organize them in an effective manner is half the battle to an organization's success.

Social Enterprise... Better Home Brew or Import?

I met quite a number of friends recently that is leaving the social enterprise space to go to business school, with the aim to go back to private sector.  This is partly because the money is better and more appropriate for where they are in life, and partly because they don't believe in social enterprise to the same degree as they did before.  I even had a long debate with my tax accountant - who used to be an environment advocate and no longer a believer - on whether working at a social enterprise is a good use of my time!

In theory, the idea of social enterprise - an organization or venture that advances its primary social or environmental mission using business approaches - make a lot of sense. In practice, I don't know many social enterprises that have successfully scale.  One could argue that it's still a relatively new concept, so would take time to mature, but part of me wonders sometimes if social enterprise is a bit like Communism, which in its root sooo contradicts basic human nature and how we behave in groups, and consequently, may never maintain its purest, idealistic form in practice.

What I'm about to say may be controversial, cynical, and perhaps even somewhat harsh, but I think it's important to be critical of ourselves in this space rather than repeating the warm & fuzzy to ourselves and each other. The social issues are difficult to solve, and the warm & fuzzy helps no one, only results do!

One question I've been fundamentally contemplating is...Is the term "social enterprise" misleading?  At the end of the day, it's a business, and any business must have a social aspect to it because (a) if it's not adding value to the society, people will not be buying it to begin with (b) if it's harming society, then there would be significant risks to manage and high associated cost (as in the case of big oil companies).  Are we REALLY that different?

One thing I observe is that in the social enterprise sector, there tend to more focus on the founder's vision relative to delivering full understanding of the problems themselves.  The founding stories are powerful and extremely effective in drawing support, monetary and others.  However, sometimes it feels as though the "issue" and "victims" behind the story appear to become more and more of a supporting role, serving to highlight the great things "we're doing to help people" rather than becoming a voice to highlight and drive awareness of the social issue.  Similar stories in variant flavors are repeated by different players, and sometimes, it feels a bit like those ads featuring starving African children, it became hard to tell who is who.

Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie warned us about the danger of a single story, and sometimes I worry if the fixation of these stories, usually coming from a single person's experience, risks creating a critical misunderstanding of the place we're trying to improve and the problem we're trying to solve, and if it risks creating an unrealistic hope of solving a systematic, complex problem by promoting the work of a single person or a single resource-poor small social enterprise, when the right thing to do is actually organizing many people of the same vision together and promote collaboration between many smart people.  Something d.light is starting to do.

Case in point, besides d.light, there are at least 30+ Lighting Africa approved medium and small sized social enterprises in the solar lantern space.  All of us have the same mission: to improve the lives of 1.3 billion people in the world still stuck with unsafe, expensive, and unhealthy kerosene lanterns.  Every few months, a new solar lantern design / company pops up.  Their pitch is almost always the same as that of those 30+ social entrepreneurs before them.  It is filled with heart-aching stories of kerosene explosion, data of sizable market opportunities, and the hope of eradicating kerosene with a simple solar device.

I often wonder, does the poor need another solar lantern? or do they just need a way to access these solar lanterns?  Are we taking the western view of consumerism and habit of mind-numbing choices, and taking it to places who has never had options?  When you have not had breakfast for awhile, it really doesn't matter if you can get your favorite brand of corn flake or preferred flavor of Cheerios, what matters is something shows up on the table and quench your hunger, right?  Same thing for lighting for the under-electrified population, there are plenty of good designs out there, the problem is not a lack of choices, the problem is people are not aware of these good options, not convinced by it, and/or could not access it.  In my personal opinion, unless we have a disruptive idea or product, putting in effort to come up with an incrementally better design does not solve the problem...on the contrary, it diverts valuable resources that could be put to use in some other way that gets the society better return.  There are too many focus on coming up with new design, and not enough emphasis on creating distribution / access to these wonderful design.  Wouldn't it be better and more cost-effective to instead of competing for resources, to funnel those money through to someone who's already successful in this space,  someone who has already figured it out, and could use more money to scale? At the end of the day, the design and business model between different solar lantern companies are not wildly different.  I can bet money that those 1.3 billion people will be happier as long as they can access one of the many solar lantern...ANY one of those lanterns (even if it's not d.light)!

So, wouldn't it make more sense to pool our resources and solve the problem together?  Except, starting a new company is sexy and can be done in an air-conditioned room.  But figuring out last mile distribution requires long term investment in remote, uncomfortable places, which is inconvenient and unrealistic once the founding team hit the age of needing to start a family.  Revealing to the world a new design is sexy and Steve Jobs-like.  But supporting something that already exist takes the lime light away (i.e. not so sexy).   We have to admit, while this is not true in all cases, there are plenty of ego involved in the world of social enterprise!

The amount of ego I observed in the sector concerns me.  Somehow, the "knight in shining armor coming to save the world" complex is feeds into this ego. Despite of shared objectives to improve lives, partnerships don't always work because of interpersonal conflicts between leaders of different companies, which begs the question if the objectives are truly about improving lives & altruistic or if the real objective is actually more personal and less externally focused?

Not only does the ego that's involved leads to behaviors that wastes resources, I think it fundamentally hinders organizations from doing their best in helping people because it obstruct one's ability to truly listen and to empathize.  The practice of "human-centered design" (HCD) is wildly popular and even a bit glorified in this space.  HCD has been championed by the Stanford Design School, IDEO, and most FMCG companies.  It emphasizes the need to immerse oneself in user's environment, and takes a very user-centric approach to design the best product from the user's point of view, rather than from the designer's point of view.  Over my 7 years of training in FMCG, I learned that a flawed consumer research design or poor execution can be misleading and dangerous.  Just because you've done consumer research, doesn't mean the conclusion is accurate!  It worries me that so many social entrepreneurs are young, hot-headed, applying HCD in a very inexperienced sort of way without realizing it, and hanging on to possibly flawed conclusions from those field studies as though their lives depend on it.  Nothing is more dangerous than knowing just a little about something and believe that one knows everything.  That's the danger of a single story Adichie talked about.  After all, how can we expect anyone who did not grow up in a mud hut and have to carry water for 3km to ever truly understand what it's like to live that life?  There's a massive difference between observing someone doing it, discussing what it's like with that person, and actually living it yourself.   And even if we live in these environment ourselves for a few months, it wouldn't be the same experience as the local because, we have an "out", we can always go back to where we came from, but they don't, they are stuck, they have no exit plan!  Empathy in its complete form is nearly impossible, but that's OK for practitioners in the space, as long as we recognize that.  Ego, however, prevents us from recognizing and admitting that.

Some successful social enterprise I have seen so far have been mostly led by local entrepreneurs: IVDP from Krishnagiri, India, Kazuri beads in Kenya, Tsu-chi in Taiwan, and I'm sure I am missing many other small, local social enterprises that have not, and will never hit the Western social impact radar.  Although they are small, they are run efficiently and financially sustainable.  I believe they have been successful because the founders grow up living with the problem they are trying to solve, and have an unparalleled commitment to the community to solve that problem, in another word, it's their community, they don't have a "Plan B" if things don't work out.  In fact, the community look up to him/her and create this sense of responsibility / accountability that a foreigner doing the same wouldn't be obliged to in the same way.  The unfortunate thing is that although these organizations' grassroots nature help them figured out the right "business design" easily, it's rare for them to scale because (1) lack of fund, and (2) lack of management skills / know-how for scaling.  They don't know how to access the million dollar grant from USAID because (a) they don't have the same access to information to find out about these funding opportunities (b) grant writing has become an industry that they cannot compete with professional grant writers (c) they are too small and possibly too "unprofessional" by western standard to be taken seriously, and (d) they don't know how to "package" their pitch to fit the western appetite and pull the right heart string that leads to money pouring from wallets.

So here's an interesting dilemma. On one hand, the "imported" social enterprises have the funds and management skills risk but suffer from the danger of ego / savior mentality and lack of ability to truly empathize & come up with the locally appropriate design. On the other hand, the "home brewed" social enterprises has the right design but almost always lack the fund and management skills to scale.

How can we bridge these gaps?  And where shall we go from here?  On one end, I believe it's important for western-based social enterprise to hire as many local staff as possible, and give them management role.  This is easier said than done due to the lack of strong talents in developing countries, but local staff is critical to bring some reality check into the organization as they will always know the end-user better.  Over time, just like companies like P&G and Unilever have integrated themselves into the fibers of the community, social enterprise ought to do the same.  They bring best practice processes, management skills, and fund from the developed world, while local talents can transform these resources into result in a locally relevant fashion, in a way that inspire true local ownership. Just because a company is operating locally doesn't mean it's part of the community.  What I observed in Kenya was mostly a foreign management team with low skill local staff who does not have any decision making power.  That does not work, even if 90% of the staff is local.  Only when local staffs get their share of voice in driving company's strategic direction, can the company be transformed from "the founder's company" to "their company".  When the company becomes one of the people, it begin to speak with the local people's voice, which is light-years better than a foreigner's "representation" or "interpretation" of their voice.  One the other end, capacity building is important for the "home brew" social enterprises.  Their insights are like valuable gems that's currently hidden from the international community. While these local organizations are difficult to find, isn't it time that donors and investors curb the obsessions for scale and for the perfect story, and give these hidden gems a bit more benefit of the doubt, take time to polish them with knowledge and skills they lack and see how they will blossom?  What Acumen is doing with the East African Fellows Program is quite nice in helping this area, it would be really interesting to see how it progresses over time and how it can impact more local entrepreneurs.

After being in the space for nearly 2 years, I've certainly become more critical of it; however, I still firmly believe in its cause and believe it can blossom with time (just like other industries) given SE is in its early stage and somewhat disorganized.  It's reassuring to see more experienced people coming into this space (as in the case with d.light), making improvements in their own way and beginning to put down more standards.  

Returning to the motherland

It's been 3 weeks since I moved to the "motherland". Until now, my exposure to China had been limited to my primary school textbook and polarizing views from media and friends.  

I'm not sure if it is because I'm coming from Africa where my standard of "comfort" has been substantially lowered, OR because I have quickly reconnected with my Chinese "root" that have been dormant in my subconscious all these years, adjusting to life in Shenzhen has been surprisingly easy.

It helps that Shenzhen is an immigrant city, the majority of the population is not "from here".  At the office, mandarin (the common language) is for the most part a second language for everyone. Consequently, my officemates speak with a variety of accents, and sometime have a difficult time understanding each other!  (which was nice because I don't feel so bad for making the super nice guy with a thick accent repeat something 3 to 5 time so I can understand him.)  On any given day, my conversations switch between Cantonese, Mandarin, and English.  In addition, pretty much from the time I landed, my focus immediately shift to developing "guan xi" (relationships), and business / interpersonal exchanges has been filled with flattery and a sort of superficial pleasantry that would have made me want to vomit had it been in a western context.  Miraculously, I have not feel a tiny bit of cognitive dissonance, even though I do worry about developing multiple personality disorder in the near future. :-p

It's an interesting experience being a foreigner without feeling truly "foreign".  Might it be in Kenya, Japan, France, or even in the US, I had been squarely pegged as an "outsider" either intrinsically (because of language barriers) or externally imposed (because I obviously look different from everyone else).  Living in China is the first time this line has been blurred.  I'm no longer sure if I'm "the foreigner trying to blend in" or "the clueless local who just moved in from the neighboring town".  Previously, my social circle mainly sits in the expat "bubble", now I feel very positively outside that bubble, and very much looking in, pondering why people would spend that kind of money living that kind of lifestyle. (I can only infer that this might have been how my middle class Kenyan friend felt sometimes when they saw the way I lived)

Despite of these unexpected feeling of familiarity, I do feel homesick. Funny enough, the "home" I miss the most is not the US or Taiwan.  The place I miss most was Kenya.  I miss my tribe of like-minded individuals doing our best to make the world a better place.  I miss the depth of conversation I frequently have with friends (local & expat) who had a global perspective and not afraid to have a debate.  I also miss the simplicity of life, the sense of community, the smile on everyone's face, and the vibrant growth energy that has not yet been overly corrupted by material wealth.

With that said, as Woody Allen exquisitely articulated in the movie Midnight in Paris, we tend to idealize the past to escape the present (especially when the present is not so pleasant)... some of us idealize a foreign place to escape our present location.  To me, living in developing countries represent both an idealized simple past (as many of these places reminded me of Taiwan when I was little) and an exotic escape.  After making a giant circle around the globe, fate finally brought me back to Asia / China, let's see if I can learn to get back to the "present" and develop a new appreciate for the motherland.

What's your sentence?

I saw a video promoting Daniel Pink's book "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" a few weeks back.  It was interesting video that poses an interesting question "What is your sentence?"

My first stab at my sentence (still work in progress): "when others give up, she kept pushing and asking questions, and as a result, left the world & everyone around her slightly better than they were yesterday"

Any suggestions on what a more appropriate sentence I should have?  and more importantly, what's YOUR sentence?

What I learned in Africa

Today I leave Nairobi, where I have called home for the last 18 months to move to China and to continue pursuing (in a different capacity) the same mission I have bought into with d.light 18 months ago - to provide equal quality of life for people below poverty line.  I am excited for the new opportunity as it enables me to work on a more strategic level to drive the company's direction, and for the first time in my career, I not only feel passionate about what I do, I actually have a vision of where I would like to take this organization.  It's an exciting new leadership opportunity, albeit it is also very intimidating! (wish me luck)

As I reflect upon what I have learned during my stint here in Africa, 2 major themes:

(1) It's good to be results-oriented, but sometimes we need to define "result" in a way that's not so one-dimensional.
I was discussing with a good friend here on what we have accomplished in Africa.  It's funny that we both agree that it's very difficult to pin point a tangible result we've achieved in the last 18 months.  As I leave the d.light Africa office, while there is a consensus among my colleague that I've contributed a lot to the organization, I couldn't say "because I am here, I was able to drive x% growth to this business or sell x million more lanterns".  This made me feel uneasy as this kind of statement was something I frequently put on my resume back in my Corporate America days and was the way I can validate my contribution.

This really makes me re-think my definition of "result".  My business background has conditioned me to define result in the business context (i.e. profitability, top line growth, market share...etc.).  Although there is a significant focus on leadership and how one impacts employees in an organization, no one will give you a big bonus or put you on the front cover of FORTUNE magazine if you are universally loved and respected as a good leader, but was unable to deliver immediate quarterly business results & increase shareholder value.  However, in the developing markets (and particularly in the social sector), there are sooooo many factors at play that any one person really cannot ensure / control business results, especially on the timeline that I'm used to in the developed world.  My manager was telling me that a lot of the things I've put in place today probably will only come to fruition in the next 2 year or so, and I think in my past role, that is simply too slow and hence unacceptable and equivalent to "failure to deliver"!

Interestingly, I was encouraged to consider the positive change I was able to make on the people I worked with; in another word, instead of measuring my results solely using "business metrics", measure them also in "human metrics".  For example, was I able to elevate the skill level of the African staff? Did I put in place processes and routines that brought about more discipline in the way we do business?  Did I set an example on the type of work ethic people should have and inspire others to do the same?  Did I bridge the western thinking with the local mentality to enable better working relationship globally?  If I think along these metrics and consider how I was able to impact the "people" around me (in addition to the single minded "business" results), it doesn't feel like I've spun around and achieved nothing anymore.  I could honestly say that I made a tremendous impact on the people I worked with, and that will have a lasting positive impact to the business that can be observed maybe several years from now.  I think I could be OK with that (it will just be hard to put on the resume)

(2) Difficult environment brings out the best and the worst of you, but this is the best (if not only) way one can truly learn and get better.
Not surprisingly, my parents and some friends are quite relieved that I'm getting out of Africa and moving to a more "safe" environment in China.  I will not deny that living in Africa can be tough from a physical comfort stand point, but more so, it puts a lot of mental stress because nothing works here.  A lot of things may seem to have simple solutions, but navigating through the people to execute these simple solutions just seem ridiculously impossible at times.

As a result of this type of work environment and the passion & pressure to deliver, the work hours and stress level usually goes through the roof.  I have screamed and yelled at people more times than I've ever thought was acceptable  in a professional setting.  I have called people incompetent in their face and acted like a total bitch on numerous occasions   I have gone through phases where I felt naive and manipulated and want to give up.  I have faced corruptions and been proposed business deals in the grey area that really challenged my business ethics and values.   Working in Africa has brought the worst, ugliest side of me that I did not know existed.

On the other hand, Africa also brought out the best out of me and I was surprised looking back on how much I've stretched.  I discovered why I get comfortable quickly and make fast friends with locals.  I found patience and grace that I never knew was in me, and I experienced how unique & powerful my cross-cultural background and personality could be when it comes to bridging differences and moving teams forward, and will now leverage it as a strengths in everything I do moving forward.

Facing myself in my best and in my worst was probably the best thing that ever happened.  It was by no mean pleasant, but it forced me to be honest with myself, to accept what I can and cannot do, and to think hard about where I want to draw my limits as well as how I should protect myself.  Facing myself in my best and in my worst gave me confidence by turning things I "thought" I could do into things I "know" I am capable of achieving.  It is empowering and liberating!

While I'm no adrenaline junkie when it comes to lifestyle and hobbies, I could see how one can get addicted doing things that pushes oneself to the limit.  In a way, what I am doing in a professional setting is not fundamentally different from adrenaline junkies.  It's really less about "stretching" one's ability but more about self-discovery and understand who we are as an individual.  There is no book or lecture that we could take to uncover the hidden parts about ourselves, human beings are complicated.  Just like alchemists put metals through fire to get it to its purest form, I think sometimes we are all on a mission (conscious or subconscious) to define who we are in our purest form, and the only way to do that is by putting ourselves through the fire of life and difficult situations, may it be a physical challenge (like that dude who free fall from space) or intellectual challenge (like scientists seeking the cure of cancer) or mental challenge (like many of my friends who are working to make the world a better place AND those who are courageous enough to become parents).  

Kwaheri, Africa! See you next time!

As I get ready to move for my new role in China, I can't help but have mixed feelings about my imminent departure from Africa.  My life in Africa has been filled with a colorful collection of maddening frustration, wild amusement, life-changing personal (& professional) lessons, and endearing friendships.  This has been one of the most memorable and worthwhile thing I've done in my life so far...a big THANK YOU, to everyone here (friends, chance encounters, strangers on the street), for making the last 18 months so memorable and meaningful!

There are many things I will miss, but other things I'm eager to do without:

I will miss the most random conversations / encountering I have while working / traveling that can be both hilarious and frustrating at the same time (but certainly make good stories)
I will not miss having to follow up on people 100 times to remind them to do their job and frequently yell at people from the top of my lung in order to get something simple done (that's someone else's daily job / profession)

I will miss getting uttermost attention (not to be confused with great service) at even very cheap hotels and restaurants, being called "Ms. Arlin", and feeling very respected (this is more so the case in Nigeria)
I will not miss feeling like not being able to fit in, that people will always look at you as though you're a upper class citizen, and giving you differential treatment or do not voice their opinion because they are afraid of making a mistake in front of you

I will miss the smell of sun on my clean laundry
I will not miss doing laundry by hand, especially after a very muddy hike over the beautiful, iron-rich African soil

I will miss the sandwich lady who visits my office every day, bringing delicious samosa and swahili dishes for 200 ksh...
I will not miss pizza Friday at the office, where our office manager forces us this horrible diet every Friday, missing the point that its main purpose is to get everyone together on a casual note rather than eat pizza, despite of the name "pizza Friday"  (it's better because it's free, but still...)


I will miss my undeserved celebrity status (for being foreign and thus "special")
I will not miss getting marriage proposals from random nameless guys wherever I go ...no, I don't roll that way!


I will miss the beautiful Nairobian weather year round at 28C
I will not miss the horde of big fat termites when it rains that have their way of invading your house despite of all the locked doors and windows

I will miss the big smile all Kenyans carry on their face and the endless good jokes from fun-loving Nigerians
I will not miss the hopelessly corrupt policemen who make your life miserable just to make 400ksh

I will miss being so close to raw, untouched nature & walking safaris where the animals look at you, recognize you exist, but do not run away...makes it feel truly like you're living and sharing this world together
I will not miss tourists on safaris with their giant cameras and showering $1 bills / pens to local children (creating a horrible culture/expectations)

I will miss having the routine of a fixed (taxi) driver, someone I can chat with, and learn more about culture and just life in general
I will not miss having to take a taxi everywhere and can never just go outside impromptu

I will miss River Cafe and Honey Beauty in Gigiri, where it's the perfect santuary for good food, followed by out of this world massage pampering
I will not miss seeing the ridiculous wealth among the diplomatic / international aid circle and feeling like I'm part of some sort of neo-colonial era

I will miss enjoying beautiful (and super affordable @ $1-2) flowers whenever I want a bouquet to freshen up my flat
I will not miss the never ending awkward moments when the street hawker persistently try to get my guy friends to buy me flowers

Lastly...
I will miss the amazing friendships I've developed and being part of a league of extraordinary folks trying to make a difference in the world!

This is not the end, I shall be back!

Inspiring Leaders: IVDP's Kulandei Francis

In my recent work trip to Tamil Urdu in Southern India, I had the good fortune of meeting Mr. Kulandei Francis, the founder of Integrated Village Development Project (IVDP) in Krishnagiri district.  It's not very often that one gets to meet inspirational leaders who are truly making a difference in their community, and I felt very lucky to have a chance to be in Mr. Francis' presence.

Mr. Francis is the 2012 winner of the prestigious Ramon Magsaysay Award, and has an amazing life story.  He was the only child in his poor family to have an university degree, and started out as a pastor.  After preaching Christianity for awhile, he decided that preaching is not enough...he wanted to do more!  He eloquently said, "helping hands are holier than praying lips", pulled up his sleeves, and in 1979 started IVDP, a network of self-help women group.  He painstakingly educated the community about issues that will help the community and made available products that will improve their lives (i.e. sanitary napkins, d.light solar lanterns, water purifier...etc.)  Just imagine how a man can start discussing the topic of menstrual cycle and use of sanitary napkins in a community where the topic is taboo and women don't even wear underwear!  THAT is an extreme behavior change and a marketer's ultimate challenge!

His organization is now entirely self-sustaining, and he re-invest any profit back to the community. All the women in his community now uses sanitary napkin, and he has boldly proclaimed that he wants to eradicate kerosene in his district; in fact, he's already 1/3 way there!!!  It's truly amazing what 1 individual, with determination and strategic approach, can achieve.  In the international development space, "scale" is the talk of the town; however, have we underestimated the power of   changes drip by drip, which ultimately change the world?

Can One "Live" on Charisma?

Working with d.light has given me a chance to take a peek through the keyhole into the start up world.  It's a fascinating space with quite a lot of interesting characters!  What really intrigued me though, is this idea of "serial entrepreneurs".  There are so many of them!!  Certainly quite a number of them have accomplished a lot, but I've also observed a large amount who live quite well with investor money and jump from one project to another without really achieving anything substantial.  Their supposed past "success" are often indicated by the size (revenue) of their business, but the thing is, you can have a decent size business while still making a loss (for the investor) or the revenue could be unsustainable, which, in all my past education / training, wouldn't put a business like that in the "success" category.

What is so intriguing to me is that "jumping from job to job" typically is frown upon in the corporate world because it means you are not good at any of the job or has itchy feet (i.e. unreliable)...however, being a serial entrepreneur and "jumping from venture to venture" seems to be something embraced in the start up circle.  If you jump from one job to another int he corporate world, you possibly will get stuck at a level eventually and couldn't move on.  But if you jump from one failed venture to another as an entrepreneur, you're tagged as experienced and get speaking engagements.  Such a drastic contract on how the same behavior is received in 2 different world!

One thing I did notice about serial entrepreneurs is their charisma.  They are usually extremely articulate and powerful public speakers who exude passion and confidence.  They can make a vegetarian believe that going to Fogo de Chao might be a good choice for lunch spot and give Chinese parent hope that their straight C daughter has a chance to become a doctor!

I recall from years back hearing some friends in the investor circle and organizations like Ashoka say that they place strong emphasis on the founders & a bit of a gut sometimes when they choose whom they'll invest in (especially for early stage ventures).  While there is undeniably a correlation between strong leadership and business success, I wonder if there is a risk to potentially put too much emphasis on the founders and let one's "gut" be led astray by a nice pitch?  I mean, I wonder how many investors have mistaken charisma for leadership and end up the unexpected sponsor of someone's hobby / business education for 5 year without getting any returns?  I'd be really curious to get the thoughts of those who are in this space either as an entrepreneur or an investor!! (after all, I've only seen about 1% of this world and it can hardly be representative of what's REALLY going on!)

Either way, developing good charisma seems to be a good investment of time for anyone, serial entrepreneur or not.  Here's some tips on the rules of charisma from the book ‘The Charisma Myth’:
• Be present. Give people your full attention. If your mind wanders, refocus by concentrating on physical sensations, like your breathing.
• Exude power and warmth. Adopt a powerful posture (wide stance, straight back, broad shoulders) and cultivate warmth by focusing on three things you like about the other person.
• Accept introversion. If you’re naturally shy, “warm up” before important interactions – visualise moments when you felt confident, or listen to mood-boosting music.
• Be vulnerable. There’s a fine line between charismatic and intimidating. Encourage a human connection with someone by revealing a weakness or sharing an embarrassing secret.
• It’s all in the voice. Create an air of confidence by speaking in a measured tempo and lowering your intonation at the end of sentences. Increasing the warmth in your voice is even easier: just smile.

Being "nice" vs. being "a doormat"

During my first year in Africa, I have been told on several occasions that I am more accommodating than most expats.  One example is that I don't make a fuss if a driver is 10 minutes late or have a less than pristine car.  Service is EVERYWHERE in Nairobi, and basic service is pretty decent here as far as taxi...etc. small things go!  So technically, if someone is not prompt, there are many others waiting in line to serve and take my money.  I have been told by other expats that I shouldn't tolerate that, but I guess unless I really need to get somewhere, I didn't find a reason to make a big deal, well, except to assert "I'm the client, you're the service provider" power dynamic.  For whatever reason, I just haven't felt the need to do that!  I've dealt with way more difficult/annoying situations that a lot of things just seems pretty minor and tolerable at this point.  The only time I felt the need to assert myself was when I was in India and in Turkey because people are generally more aggressive and almost intruding into my personal space.  But in Kenya, I found most people very easy-going, and the people I work with are not really "lazy"...they may be joggling multiple jobs and could get caught in the horrible traffic on the way, but the tardiness usually was the result of poor planning (re: Africa time), not malicious intention to take advantage of me....at least, this was my impression...I could be wrong...and to me, while not ideal, those are fairly acceptable excuses.  Perhaps I have set my expectation too low...am I being "too" nice or not demanding enough?   I was warned that people will take advantage of your "niceness" if you let them, but somehow I just have trouble with anything that resembles a "master-servant" relationship... 

At what point does "being nice" turn into "being a doormat" and losing respect?

My more affluent African colleagues have advised that if you are being too "nice", the boss-subordinate relationship quickly becomes blurred, and trouble will soon follow as people quickly begin to believe they are indispensable...why else would you be so nice to them?   Once that mindset begin to take place, they start to show up late and slack off (because they know you won't reprehend them in any way)...it's a bit like disciplining a child, only that it's an adult that you're dealing with and the normal Western view is to treat them as equals, and assume they know what's "right" and what's "wrong"...

I think perhaps the later assumption of Africans (especially less educated ones) have the same definition of what's "right" and what's "wrong" as the "westerners" is erroneous.  Over the course of my time here, I've observed that what's right and what's wrong is actually a fairly fluid concept.  And for the most part, what's going to give me pleasure and pride now is the right thing.  For a taxi driver, it is "right" to rush between 2 jobs even if it means that one client could be waiting for long if traffic is bad (which it almost certainly will be) because this is the way to make more money.   For an employee, it is more "right" to sit in the office twiddling his/her thumbs vs. going out in the field and make things happen, because he gets paid the same anyway, so why put unnecessary strain to oneself?  Life is too short to be wasted on uncomfortable and un-glamorous work!

So when you think you're being "nice" and making compromises, perhaps that's not how others are perceiving it?  Maybe they think that's the norm?  And why is it so important that other recognize I'm being "nice" anyway?

I've learned that being nice or not, it's important to #1: set boundaries.  People become doormats when there is no boundaries.  I am OK when someone is late if I'm going somewhere on my own, but NOT when I'm going to a business meeting.  I make that clear and create huge drama when someone is late taking me to a business meeting just so the point is made.  #2: consistency is key.  Only through a consistent message can one create habit and drive behavioral change.  This is not the most flattering comparison, but it's kind of like training a dog! (after all, we're all creatures of habit).  With that said, the only way one CAN be consistent is when one has drawn a clear mental line of boundary and be serious about it, so point #1 is still most important.  #3: create meaningful consequences.  People will only take you seriously and change their behaviors when there are consequences.  Pure yelling can only get you so far.  Understand what people care about and what they cannot stand to lose is key to put in place a meaningful and effective consequence to drive the desired behavior.  I haven't done so well in #3, it's something that takes time & energy to figure out, and usually at the heat of the moment, figuring out what motivates someone isn't my number one priority, expressing my anger is.  But perhaps with better discipline and self-control, I can be more effective in this area!

Does polygamy promote happy marriage?

While in Senegal for a conference, I got pulled into perhaps not the most bizarre but certainly the most unexpected situation.  Being my first time in Dakar, I wanted to stay an extra day to explore the town.  My 40-or-so year old local translator was kind enough to offer his mom's home for 2 nights, so that I don't have to couchsurf with random people (which is a strange and unacceptable arrangement in his view).   I was under the impression that he had a wife back in Canada but has been since separated; he also talked about a girlfriend and how he's not ready to marry her yet.  To my surprise, when I showed up at his mom's apartment, I realized that he is married to a 24 year old lady.  She was super nice and has a very kind heart, but a few minutes into our meeting, I sense something is not right.  

"Oh, she's jealous" he said..."he thinks I want to take you as my 2nd wife." 

"OK, well, tell her that I'm not in the market to be anything but a first wife, so nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, I know, she's silly, I'll talk to her"

So after a number of "family meetings" between him, the wife, and his mom, the wife came out, continue to be cordial, and made me a lovely meal.

"See, isn't she nice? She loves me that's why she cooked you such a nice meal"

"Yeah, this is lovely, thank you so much!" .. the meal was indeed delicious, but I was feeling extremely awkward

Next day, further drama ensued... my entire tourist plan was overturned because she didn't want to join and it is scandalous to go alone with her husband.  So after much negotiation, I was allowed to go out on my own.  When I return in the evening, it's obvious some air need to be cleared.  

"I hope you feel better, I don't want to cause any trouble or misunderstanding, I'm not going to be your husband's 2nd wife... I have a boyfriend at home (lie)" I said

"No, it's OK, it's better that it's you vs. some Senegalese women, you guys should have gone w/o me!" she replied

"..." Why is this such a negotiation? Didn't I already declare that I'm NOT interested?

Next day, I asked my friend..."So, when do you plan on taking a 2nd wife? you just got married? Why is this topic on the mind so quickly?" ... "I will take a 2nd wife when you accept"... WHAT?! I thought we've made that cleared!  "You guys are clearly madly in love and can't get your hands off each other, why are you thinking about a 2nd wife so soon? (PS: I'm NOT interested)"  "Well, it's good to have that option open.  Sometimes woman bring trouble and if you have another option, they behave better, it's good for marriage.  Plus, I will have my wives live in separate places, so they can't fight or anything.  She doesn't have to see me when she's mad at me, and vice versa.  "

This is the 2nd time I've heard the argument that polygamy is "good for marriage".  First time in Kenya, this time in Senegal.  I suppose when polygamy is an option, people (the woman) are willing to "put up" with more and control their emotion better to delay the arrival of future wives and also to maintain a favorable status of the man.  In West Africa (unlike Kenya), the good thing is that the men also feel a strong sense of responsibility for their various wives, and are proud to be able to provide for as many wives as possible...It didn't seem like it's ONLY about having a prettier, younger lady toy to satisfy their needs and vanity...and the woman generally do seem pretty accepting of the tradition and genuinely happy.

Taking this home to the US, programs like the Sister Wives shows a similar picture.  Happy women, sharing a husband, respectfully...much more civilized than what one would see from The Real Housewives series. Sure, feelings of jealousy is there, but these women seem to deal with it much better and more maturely than the monogamous couples who have this endless fear of infidelity.

So I can't help but wonder, why do we (those who grew up in a western-minded society) believe polygamy is so bad?  Where did this idea of monogamy come from?  What social purpose does it fulfill (except perhaps population control and avoidance of inheritance disputes)?  Is monogamy a moral issue or are we simply following the social norm subconsciously?  

To my surprise, polygamy is actually more common than I had expected!  Anthropologists say 83 percent of societies permitted polygyny, and just 17 percent insisted on monogamous marriage.   According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of 1,231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry.  So, those of us monogamous kind might actually consider a paradigm shift and re-evaluate the idea that monogamy is a more "advanced" or "superior" way of life, and perhaps begin to take a more open view of polygamy as a different way of life and a personal choice?  What do you think?

For a fun read, check out The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wive, a well-written, entertaining piece of work talking about the lives of a polygamous Nigerian family.

True love, African style...

My friend recently shared this funny article on Facebook... How to show Nigerian love | Daily Times Nigeria . While the article was written as a satire, it was pretty close to how most relationships work in Nigeria, and may I even dare to say, how relationships work in most of Africa.

Coming from the perspective of a fairly westernized woman, I find the respect & privileges African men enjoy from women in the society largely undeserved.  It is expected that women fulfill their traditional role of cooking and taking care of the children.  To me, that's fine  as long as there's some sort of fair division of labor in the household.  However, what I've observed is despite of the fact that women are taking up the house chores, the men are not necessarily expected to step up to their part and provide for the family!  I see plenty of Nigerian men who dresses well every morning but sits around doing nothing all day.  It's their wives that go out to find money for the family (in addition to their normal wifely duties of course).  These women get money from various odd jobs around, and some end up finding another "honey" that can provide for her (and her husband).  Whether this is a "fair" arrangement for the women or not aside, the phenomenon just seem to be completely contradictory to what one would expect from a deeply Christian society.  In fact, the standard and expectation for a man is so low that when an African woman finds a man who actually fulfill his so-called "duties", she seems to hang on to him so tight as though her life depend on it, and this man can now do whatever he wishes!  No matter how many other woman he is fooling around with, no matter what other naughty things he is doing, it seems as though as long as the man puts food on the table, pays his children's school fees, and (as a bonus) send the family for vacation every now and then, all sins can be forgiven / overlooked.  On the contrary, if a woman does not cook and make her men happy, she could be condemned by both men and women in the community.

During my time in Africa, I have been "propositioned" by a number of married men (sometimes even people I have an on-going professional relationship with).  They will outright tell you how much they love their family, their kids, and how nice a wife he has...BUT, he is still entitled to fool around.  And when I not-so-subtly rejected them, they don't really appear to feel bad about propositioning you to begin with. This was surprising for such a Christian society where supposedly "adultery" is condemned.  There seem to be a mental separation between sexual relationship, the marriage institution, and the obligations that is associated with being a husband / father.  OR could it be the result of generation and generations of polygamy, and this idea that men have "needs" and it's important that they are satisfied.  I wonder if the reason why society seem to accept extra marital affair / polygamy as "norm"?  Is it because the society is mainly run by men?  OR is it because of the difficulty for women to make a living independently that they default to their basic requirement of seeking a mate that can protect and provide thus have to put up with whatever comes with?  Perhaps marriage at the end of the day really serves a much more practical & economic purpose, and Hollywood actually did a disservice to the western society by creating the illusion that marriage is based on this "enduring one and only love", a false expectation that's bound to be disappointed?

Asa's Subway is one beautifully written song that exemplifies what many women feels when it comes to relationship

As a side note, it's quite interesting to see the spectrum of how women are treated across the world. On one extreme, you have situation like in Afghanistan, where women are treated like dirt and property.  In the middle, you have in Africa and parts of Asia, the quiet acceptance of male infidelity / dominance as described. And then on the other end of the spectrum, you have women in the US, who feel free to demand equal partnership, and can choose to walk away when things aren't fair.  It's curious though that we have not yet seen a situation where the women have gained so much power and starting to dominate / mistreat the men of the society.

Where's Home and What are You?

If you find this question difficult to answer, you may be a TCK (Third Culture Kid) or CCK (Cross Culture Kid).

I recently saw a video about TCK, and it became a language which expressed a lot of how I often feel as an individual.  I thought I should share this with those who have grown up in a multicultural environment (or is raising children in such environment) in case you may find some of these learning relevant and interesting as well.

So Where's Home? A Film About Third Culture Kid Identity

Here are some excerpts from Dr. Ruth E. Van Reken's book: Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds

TCKs are blessed with quite a few gifts:
1. Highly mobile and independent

2. Easily adaptable and keenly aware of his/her surrounding
3. Speak multiple language and ability to think "outside the box"
All of these traits can contribute greatly to TCK's success as an adult.

However, frequently uprooting oneself and resettling elsewhere also created some challenges for TCKs, as they often have:

1. Feeling of isolation or guardedness in forming close relationships: "for many TCKs, the pain of losing so many relationships in their lives results in a certain guardedness in future relationships. Consciously we long for the very intimacy we unconsciously run away from for fear of one more loss.  Positive independence can become isolation where we refuse to need others, likely for fear of losing them anyway in the end."

2. ”Itchy feet”…the rootless and restless syndrome. “There” is always better than “here”, also allows us to "run away" from forming close relationships

3. May not deal well with conflicts. It is always been easier to “outwait” them, knowing another move is soon coming, then to deal productively with them.

Sounds familiar?  Don't worry, there's a solution.  Van Reken (a TCK herself) discuss at length the important need for TCKs to have a process to deal with "grief", apparently this is the cause for a lot of the challenges mentioned above.  According to Van Reken, "each time we transition to a different environment, we experience a sense of loss because we (or the others) are leaving, even though the transition also involves the gain of what we will encounter on the other side. The main issue, however, isn’t the loss. That is part of life. But often our losses have not been validated (as the loss coming from a relative’s death might be validated) or we had no way that we knew of to deal with these losses as they happened. For that reason, the effects of them accrue. We can anesthetize ourselves to the conscious pain for quite awhile using the various responses we do but eventually they catch up with us. Meanwhile, our very reactions to try to avoid feeling this pain have often resulted in our pushing others away and we only increase our ultimate pain."  This is why, it's important to deal with those "losses" even if it has been a long time since.

For me, the biggest takeaway is that there are always two sides to a coin.  Having the opportunity to be exposed to different culture and developing a broader world view is definitely a blessing in my opinion; however, in exchange, we have to accept the certain "side effects" from the constant movement that allowed us to see the world.  As long as we recognize it, understand its root, and learn to accept / deal with it, we can live our lives to the fullest and get the best of both worlds!

Donation Update: First Graduating Class

Last week I celebrated my 31st birthday, and one of the best gift I got (ever) was witnessing the tremendous progress Kianda Vision Computer Center has made.  Since opening in mid-May, we now have 38 students enrolled in the 2 months program, and the first cohort has officially passed their exams and have received certificate from the center.

It's hard to believe how fast this project has progressed.  It is definitely beyond my wildest imagination that something like this could happen on a continent that is infamous for its inefficiency. Last August, money was raised for my birthday, by winter we picked a concept, in May we have a center built, and now we are impacting the lives of youths in the community on a daily basis!  We also have ambition to expand our space to accommodate more students by this winter.

Today we held an official graduation celebration for them.  Each one of them made a speech, thanking those who made this center possible.  These youths grow up in a very tough environment, without this project, they wouldn't have the ability to learn how to use a computer, and then use that skill to find jobs.  I wanted to share the speech from one of the students, Mercy Ogembo (apologies for the background noise and poor videotaping skill)

This absolutely wouldn't have happened without everyone who contributed money last year.  This is indeed a birthday gift that keeps on giving :)  On behalf of myself and all the students benefitted from the computer center, from the deepest part of our hearts, ASANTE SANA! (Swahili: Thank you very much!)

To support the expansion of the computer center, click on the link below:

It's not you, it's me!

Dear Africa,

I want to apologize for complaining about your inefficiencies and turning into such a micro-managers always breathing down your neck (yet still not achieving as much as I'd like).  This week, I realized -- the problem is not you, it's me.  I have failed to understand how you think, how you work, and how you are motivated so that I communicate in the manner you can relate/understand.  Specifically, 

• I show you the big picture and then immediately demand that you aggressively work towards achieving visible results; however, I did not take into consideration that what may seem like a small step based on my experience may actually be a big, scary leap for you. To feel confident to take action, you need to be shown the stepping stones to get to the other side, receive reassurance that it will be OK, and time to get comfortable; otherwise, you will feel overwhelmed and paralyzed.
• I expect you to connect the dots, think critically, and question existing conditions; however, I did not realize that it's not something you are accustomed to doing growing up.  I need to create opportunities where you can take leadership roles and be encouraged to do more than taking orders; only through actual experiences can you build confidence, become empowered, and appreciate your ability to influence your environment.
• I have been impatient and want to do everything NOW; however, time is what's required for new thoughts and habits to set in, and no amount of extra effort and push can substitute for time.  As Warren Buffet famously put, you can't have a baby in 1 month if you get 9 women pregnant.
• I get frustrated when you can't understand what I'm saying, without realizing the issue may actually be that I've failed to communicate clearly and simply.  It is not fair to expect you to have perfect English comprehension (or always think with logic), after all, I'm in your country, not the other way around.
• I did not understand that the solution to the problem may not always be a straight path with a clearly defined timeline, sometimes, it's important to put the players in their right position to help shape the situation into a favorable environment, wait for the perfect moment, then strike.
• I am quick to "tell you" the solution rather than allowing time, seeding ideas, and allowing you the time to think through the problem yourself.  I am so eager to tell you what I know that I forget what I know is irrelevant until it becomes what you know as well.  You deserve the time and this is the only way you can understand and truly absorb the knowledge.
• I expected focus to come intrinsically and have not taken the time to put down tight management routines and align the incentives.  These things are critical so you can be effective and be held accountable.
• I have not keep my radar up and look for patterns and irregularities so I can figure out a way to handle bad behaviors appropriately; this encourages continued corrupt practices, and I actually become a culprit (even if unknowingly)

We're going to interact a bit differently from now on so that hopefully thing will not be as frustrating for the both of us anymore.  Let's make the continent to a better place together.

Sincerely yours...

Lost In Translation

10 months later, I finally understood why I got a room of Nigerians balling uncontrollably during a training in Enugu after I shared a very serious (and hopefully inspiring) story about a farmer in Kano being able to improve his productivity with d.light lantern... No one told me the truth, but apparently "productivity" means "sexual productivity" around here.   At the time, my colleague just told me that they think I have a funny accent, but now the truth came out after I met a Taiwanese couple who have lived in Nigeria for a long time who broke it down for me!

While English is a common language in Nigeria, common people usually speak pidgin English, which despite of its English origin, it might as well be a different language.  I am constantly confused when I am dealing with blue collar Nigerians.  For example, if you ask someone "have you eaten?"...they'll answer "I don chop"...which, actually does not mean "I don't eat" (chop = eat), but means I have eaten (I guess maybe it came from I done chop)...SO, if I don't chop = I have eaten, then what's I have not eaten?  I have not eaten = "I never chop"...confused?  So am I!  Usually I'm pretty good with picking up languages, even Swahili is going OK...however, sadly, I don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel for this pidgin English business...I don't quite get the logic...yet...

Here are some examples of useful and some funny pidgin English, some courtesy of a post from matador network:

• How Bodi? / How You Dey? – How are you doing today?
• Wetin? – What?
• Abi Na Wetin - What is it this time?
• Na You Biko - You the man!
• Aba Made - Fake
• Abeg – Please, but usually not a repentant plea. Example – Abeg! No waste my time!; Which means Please! Don’t waste my time!
• Abi? – Isn’t it?
• Na so? – Is that so?
• Shak - drink
• Chop - eat 
• Bodi dey inside clothe - I'm surviving
• Eh eh - no
• Ah ah - for Goodness sake
• Dey go - keep going
• E - it is
• Fit - can
• Dey - is/am/are
• I no no – I don’t know
• I no sabi – I don’t understand
• I dey fine – I’m fine. I’m doing well.
• Wetin dey happen? – What’s going on? What’s happening?
• Wahala – Problem/Trouble. Example – Why you dey give me wahala? Which means why are you giving me so many problems?
• Comot! – Get out of here!
• Gi mi – Give it to me.
• I Wan Chop – I want to eat
• Come chop – Come and eat
• I no agree – I don’t agree, I disagree
• Vex – Upset. Example – Make you no vex me! ; Which means “Don’t upset me!”
• Dem send you? – Have you been sent to torment me? (I will likely be using this one frequently)
• Wayo – Trickery. Example – That man be wayo; which means “that man is a fraud!”
• Butta my bread – Answered prayers. Example – “God don butta my bread” which means God has answered my prayers
• Listen well well – Pay attention 
• Go slow – Traffic jam
• Enta voicemail - Stolen/Cannot be found (Enta = enter)
• Grammar - something confusing and just don't want to have any more of.  "e.g. that one you dey talk na grammar, I go still do wetin I wan do"

...and 2 of my favorites!

• Airforce 1 - flying witch (e.g. e girlfriend mama na airforce 1 = my girlfriend's mom is a flying witch)
• I go land you slap – I will slap you!

Other Resources:

• BabaWilly’s Dictionary of Pidgin English Words and Phrases
• Naija Lingo
• Naija Dictionary

Poverty is the Biggest Violation of Human Rights

They said children are the future, and for marketers, children are easier to mold and more open to new ideas.  Consequently for d.light, we're trying out something so that we can educate kids about our solar lanterns, in the hope that they will convince their parents through this early exposure and adopt it themselves when then get older.  As part of my effort to find out more about schools in Nigeria, I learned about the saddest social/religious practice during my recent trip to Nigeria - the Almajiri School.

The word ALMAJIRI emanated from the Arabic word “AL- MUHAJIRIN”, a concept that came as a result of Prophet Muhammed’s migration from Mecca to Medina, meaning the emigrant. An Almajiri is a person, who is sent out early in life in search of knowledge.  He become a pupil of a Quranic school under a teacher known as Mallam, and engages in daily begging for food in order to survive. Under this practice, poor families from rural areas across the 19 northern states and beyond send their children when they reach the age of 6 to Islamic boarding schools in the cities of northern Nigeria. Today, the word Almajiri has become nearly synonymous with child beggar, and is increasingly looked upon as a menace to society as many of these children become vagabonds or terrorists.

 

While I don't find the tradition of Almajiri problematic, similar idea exist in the Buddhist tradition where young monks will go around begging for alms, it's a way to feed these monks but also an opportunity for the community lay people to practice the virtue of generosity; however, what I find troublesome is how as times change, this tradition is becoming an easy place for abuse and exploitation.  In an ideal situation, the Almajiri schools and the community should provide enough emotional and material support for these children, but unfortunately, the level of support the Islamic tradition called for hasn't been there in most cases.  As a result, these children end up begging on the streets with no one to turn to.  Furthermore, with the high level of poverty, many of these kids did not leave home to become Allah's servant in their own will, they are sent away by their parents at an age as little as 3 because the parents cannot afford to feed them.

I don't know about others, but I was pretty useless when I was 6.  I cannot possibly imagine how scared, confused, and betrayed I would feel if all of a sudden I'm told that I need to go on the street and survive on my own!  In many cases, the so-called "Mallam" exploit the children and take the money they begged, and leave the children with very little.  THAT is child abuse or even child slavery in my book!  They are destined to live a life of poverty and destitute in this system.  


How can any child not feel abandoned and develop a sense of hatred towards society under these conditions?  With those deep rooted feeling of lost and betrayal, these children become the perfect candidates for terrorist groups like Boko Harem, who is spreading terror and paralyzing Nigeria as a nation at the moment.  When a child never experienced love and a sense of connection with another human being in life, picking up a gun or knife become quite an easy task and could potentially be the fastest way to feel "powerful" after a whole life on the street living without much dignity. This well explains why the young men in Boko Harem don't care about the fact that they are bombing/killing innocent people who follow the same Quranic verse as they do...why they don't care about the fact that they are paralyzing the agricultural sector that produce food that feeds the rest of the country, causing food price to skyrocket and more people to suffer in other parts of the country...Boko Harem doesn't seem to actually want anything besides creating chaos potentially in retribution to such an unfair lives they have been living this whole time!  


So there you can see a whole lifecycle of a potential terrorist (or child soldier in other parts of the world).  The outdated Almajiri system, which meant well, is totally abused due to extreme poverty and horrifying ignorance of the Northern communities.  There are very little things that make me feel sad, since I'm quite a hopeful person.  Usually I could find a tiny glimpse at the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel, and let that carry me through.  However, with these Almajiri, I feel nothing but sadness since I can't see a way out.  The entire system is so open for exploitation as the ones with power want to perpetuate it to their advantage and the poor either are too ignorant to see the problem or so dis-empowered to do anything.  There is no hope!  


In the mean time, the poor are popping more and more children out, which will only make the situation worse.  They don't understand family planning, and for many of them, their religion gives them an attitude that getting pregnant is God (or Allah)'s will so they shouldn't interfere.  So, do we tell them to stop having sex?  That's most definitely not going to happen...when you have so little, sex is their only way to experience a tiny bit of pleasure in life, how can one take that away from them?


To me, poverty is the biggest violation of human rights...there is no talk of "rights" or "dignity" when you are trapped in the poverty cycle.  You are forced to do whatever it takes to survive, and it's especially sad when vulnerable children is being forced into this type of situation every minute and second of the day.  


They said children are the future, but when I look at the children in Nigeria, I cannot help but feel hopeless.  Every time I visit a school in Nigeria, I am greeted by (literally) hundreds of innocent smile, each can lead the nation to a brighter future if they are given the opportunity.  However, after each fun school visits, I can't help but be reminded that each of these bright laughter at the end of the day, will really just represent another missed opportunity, another wasted soul, and another try at the game of life that leads to nothing.  Nigeria is growing to be the world's 3rd largest economy...it is scary to see that this is the future of the world's third largest economy.  Will my lantern really help these kids if they really just can't afford it?  For those who are at the bottom of the bottom, would a hand out be the hand up they need to get out of poverty? or would it really just further stripe away their dignity and perpetuate a system of dependency to foreign aid?  

It's official!

Nairobi has proven to be the quicksand that people said it is, and I am officially signed on to stay here for another few months until end of March, 2013!

This also mean that I had to officially resign from General Mills since the longest sabbatical I could take is 1 year.  The thought of leaving a safe, stable, enviable job in the US and officially jump off the corporate ladder was a bit nerve-wrecking.  What I am doing is completely against the "ideal career" I was taught to pursue growing up, but so far, no regrets!  :)

To be completely honest, when I saw the compensation package from d.light, my left brain screamed "this is a no brainer, go back to your 6 figure job, how can u live on this?"...for a while, I was sure that I will go back to Minneapolis and finally "settle down".  The gig in Africa was good while it lasted, but shifting from what I had to this new life would be too scary from a financial security stand point, regardless of how much I loved the work.

However, the morning I was suppose to announce my "I'm going back to the US after my fellowship" decision to d.light, I came across some notes I made from reading Mark Albion's book.  There was a quote that read "don't get really good at what you don't want to do"...and it really hit me.  Sure, I liked my old job and was learning a lot, but I love my new job and the new direction it will take me.  So, which job will give me the skills that's more relevant to what I'll want to dedicate my life doing?  The answer was pretty clear.  Once I figured that out, I spent the next few hours to work out a budget that is required for me to save money for retirement, meet my financial obligations back home, while still be able to live relatively comfortably in Nairobi.  To my surprise, while the paycut seemed drastic, it wasn't as impossible/scary as it seemed! After looking into the details and really try to find a way to make it work, the extra sum amount of money that I felt I "needed" turned out to be not so indispensable.  I guess the fear is rooted in the mind vs. in the reality after all!


This realization also reminded me of one of the most insightful advice I've been given. It was from an exiting marketing manager at General Mills for whom I have a lot of respect and admiration.  He was leaving GM to pursue his own start up in Asia. Just before he left, we had a nice chat, and I asked him, "what you're about to do is very risky, aren't you scared?" He answered "earning a paycheck is no less 'risky' than starting your own business, employers create a false sense of stability by giving you a paycheck every 2 weeks, but that paycheck can go away anytime, you could be fired or laid off at moment's notice, how 'secure' is that? It's not that different from losing your own business.  Moreover, the seemingly 'predictable' corporate career path also creates the illusion that you'll become more established and secure as you climb up the ladder; however, the reality is, the higher up you are, the more scared you become as the stake gets higher...so there is no end to this chase, think very carefully about what you want in life and don't get stuck in the system"  What he said made a big impact on me and his words stuck with me for a long time.  With the recent massive laid off at General Mills where some of my very intelligent, hardworking friends were impacted, it only proved his points more.  There's no such thing as job security in the corporate world, and life is truly too short to be doing something we don't love only because of our fear of the unknown.  If we set our minds to do something, and go about it in a smart way, I believe that we can achieve whatever it is that we want to do.  I have met many people here in Nairobi who has successfully done exactly that, and I pray that I can be as lucky as them one day as I begin this pursuit of my own.


So just as I've set some objectives at the beginning of my fellowship, I thought it would be appropriate to set some goals for the 2nd phase of my African adventure as well:

• Basics
• Stay alive, healthy & safe...  (I think this one will stay on the list for a while, heehee)
• Career
• Try and find a balanced pace and approach to move things forward without frustrating myself and the people I lead: coming from the American culture and organizations with highly competent teams, I often have high expectations and vision for rapid progress that my African colleagues may have trouble keeping up with.  I hope to use the next few month to find a balance between my own expectation and my approach in pushing people to be their best so that things get done while maintaining a harmonious relationship in the team
• Figure out where I would like to be after this post in d.light: now I'm officially off the corporate bandwagon, it'll take quite a bit of networking and soul-searching to figure out exactly where in this complicated international development/social entrepreneurship space that I will find most interesting and be able to make the most contribution
• Personal
• Be Able to converse in basic Swahili 
• Do more "artsy" things in Nairobi: Nairobi has a vibrant art scene that I'm just beginning to discover, with my new roommate being the creative type, I hope to explore this part of Kenya much more
• Community
• Get Kianda Vision Computer Center to a self-sustaining stage: this is one of few things I am so proud to have the opportunity to be a part of.  It seems to be on track and growing, and I'd love to help it get to a self-sustaining stage so we will be in a good shape to scale