My new puppy friend - Bozo!

It's been 4 weeks now that I've lived in my current place, and the guard dog is getting real friendly.  He runs over and greets me every time I come home, which is super cute, and he's beginning to feel OK following me into my tiny little yard.  I'm probably one of few people who actually "pets" him.  Maybe that's why he likes me :) --> (update, the guard tells me the dog liks Mzungus and hates Kenyans...so I guess he likes me cuz I'm fair-skinned, what a racist, but still very cute!)

The concept of having dogs as pets does not seem to be very wide spread here.  From what I can observe, dogs fall under 3 categories: (1) street dogs (2) guard dogs in secured complex (3) given the presence of dog food on the shelf of supermarkets, maybe a small percentage of them become pets of the super wealthy/expats/westernized people.

Most of the guard dogs need to earn their keep and eats leftovers.  They are working dogs, not pets.  Mine gets locked up behind a fence during the day, and is let out during the night.  He basically peak out from underneath the main gate to make sure no one tries to get in.  This is such a huge contrast compare to the US and even Taiwan where dogs are treated like kings!  I bought him some treat today after work, the concept of a treat must be so foreign that he wasn't really sure what to do with it, it was very cute/funny.  

The Glue Kids of Eldoret

For those who have made donations at my 30th birthday party, here's a first update of how I've spent a portion of that money, with Ex-Street Children Org. (ECCO):

The Mungiki sect...the secretive Kenyan Mafia

Over work lunch, I learned about the Mungiki in Kenya...it's a sect made of primarily the Kikuyu's.  They are highly organized and a very secretive community with traditional initiation processes.  It seems as though they are not entirely understood and are feared by most Kenyans due to the commonly believed beheading and mutilation practices if you ever cross them.  The stereotypical Mungiki rock their dreadlocks and play a key role organizing the Matatus industry.  My friend said that one time her friend forgot her phone in a matatu, then they phoned a guy who is a mungiki, a couple hours later, the phone is located and returned.  This level of organization and efficiency is rare and even more amazing considering the chaotic and unorganized nature of Kenya.  But of course, there's always 2 side to a story, there are arguments that there's benefit to the Mungiki that they provide services and protection that's so lacking from the government, that they are very disciplined people who teach good, traditional Kikuyu moral values...

Here's a fascinating documentary made by Ross Kemp from the UK with some inside view into the Mungiki sect:

What I found interesting is the culture of retaliation and fear lives strong in the African society.  To me, it is very primal and reminds me of movies like Braveheart and Apocalypto.  One one hand, I feel that it's just part of the tradition, but on the other hand, I wonder how human civilizations evolve from that?  I mean, we can all trace our ancestry all the way back to a time in history where people live tribal lives and fought violently with other tribes to maintain territories.  Some of the fear tactics such as killing 10 people to instill fear in 100 people isn't anything new.  But, why have some civilizations stopped such practices and began the art of negotiation, and others still have this an eye for an eye type thinking very much in their daily practice?  Is this education?  Is it tolerance? Maybe, but both takes time and generations to make a difference.  Is there something else that can cool the blood down faster so people can think more before they act?  When survival is the top priority in your every day lives, don't we all give in to the adrenaline/fight or flight instinct, and act impulsively?  Perhaps negotiation and talks are the luxury of the wealthy, and poverty is the true cause of violence and conflict.  I'm pretty sure that if my child is going to die of hunger tomorrow, I probably won't have problem harming someone who's stolen the last bread in my house away.

Finding my "Tribe"...

Part of being human is the search for an individual identity.   To me, this search of individual identity played a particularly large role in my human experience up to this point because my sense of identity was very much shaked up when I first moved from Taiwan to the US.  I remember when I was little, I was determined to practice criminal law one day so I can put away the criminals (well, I watched a lot of LA Laws back then, and the obsession never ended as I am hopelessly addicted to Law & Order: SVU), the path was clear, and my identity was straight-forward: a good study in school, Taiwanese girl, future district attorney.

However, once I moved to the US, all of that had to change.  Not everyone I met in US knew where Taiwan was, they get it confused with Thailand or just start talking to me about Korea cuz since we're from the same continent, we must be alike.  As I live longer in the US, relaxed my accents, got citizenship, and became "more American", explaining who I am and where I am from evolve from a simple world geography lesson into a drawn out account of where home is, and since my families live everywhere, that along is a loaded question to answer!  There was not one single word that I could just use to explain who I am in association to my "origin".  I am neither truly Asian (cuz I'm not really Asian enough compare to my friends back in Taiwan), nor truly American (cuz I'm not American enough compare to my friends who's lived here all their lives), and I had a hard time identifying with the "Asian-American" terminology.  To me, "Asian American" is a demographic, I will check that box on the census, but that captures so little of who I am that I cannot call it my identity.  I don't jump up and down with excitement when I see another "Asian-American" on the street of Paris...I jump up and down when I meet someone who think and act alike as me, whether she is Asian or not.

Over the years, I find myself picking up a lot of different identities, brand manager, MBA, avid world traveler, foodie...etc., but still, none of them alone can truly describe me...Instead of letting where "home" is define me, I started looking at my life's journey, and trying to let that defined me, but that is a cumbersome problem, especially when you make introductions. I found that in this fast-paced world, things often need to be communicated in 30-second bite size chunks or it loses people's attention very quickly.  I also felt that many people, who had much simpler background, had a need for a label so they can simplify and quickly understand who I am, and I was struggling to come up with that.

As I continue to grow as a person, my curiosity about the world led me to seek out a wide range of experiences, and since I have an insatiable appetite for random and often bizarre things, each experience further jolted my already pretty shaky sense of identity.  I began to meet people from extreme poverty and extreme wealth, from extreme spirituality to extreme practicality, I started mapping myself on a variety of spectrum of all these opposing qualities (e.g. socio-economic, intellectual, spiritual...etc.), and my identify became a composite of various dots on these spectrums, kind of like the sound setting on a music equalizer, the theme "Arlin" reads, 50% wealthy/poor, 70% global minded...etc.  But, I still sort of crave a label, or a group where I can point to and say, THAT is where I belong. I long for a "home base", a safe haven that I could occasionally venture out from and stretch my identify, but a place that I will eventually return back to. So, the search continues...

I found out about the concept of a "tribe" not too long ago from a lady I met in Minneapolis.  We are 20 years of age apart, but hit it off right away after our first meeting at an Ashoka conference.  It felt like we're from the same tribe despite of all our background differences. A tribe, "is not simply a group of people…its a group of people that share common interests and experiences while showing genuine interest and care for the members of the tribe."  A tribe, is a group of people who brings out your true potential without you even realizing it's there.  The tribal member is as happy providing bits of useful technical information as he is sending a note checking up on you after hearing you're not well. It's the connection and the relationship that links tribal member together.

I find the beauty in the concept of a tribe is that it is something that can be sought after and chosen, thus "everyone" has the opportunity to find his/her own tribe despite of what he/she is born with.  Whether you are from a broken family or a loving one, whether you were an ex-convict or Wall Street banker, there is a tribe for you (well, hopefully a legal one, in the case of the convict).  There's a beautiful equality that comes with this idea that is so uplifting.

Perhaps one's identity isn't defined by a "home", a journey, or a cocktail of adjectives.  Perhaps one's identity ought to be defined by the type of people who you feel most connected to - your tribe.

So the search continues, but in the short period of time I've been in Nairobi, I feel that I am getting closer.  I have had the good fortune to have this rare experience where 100% of the people I met I feel completely comfortable with and free to speak my mind without censoring myself even a little bit.  The occasional silence in the conversation doesn't feel awkward anymore, and there isn't this unspoken tension of competitiveness.  Words are spoken from a place of curiosity, passion, and genuine desire to create something bigger and better.  Is this just the honeymoon period? or is this my tribe?  I don't know what the right criteria are to answer this question, but I am excited to find out!

Some interesting/related TED talks:

• Seth Godin on the Tribes we lead

• David Logan on Tribal leadership

• Ken Robinson's book "The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything"  mentions...“Finding your tribe can have transformative effects on your sense of identity and purpose. This is because of three powerful tribal dynamics: validation, inspiration, and what we’ll call here the ‘alchemy of synergy.' Tribe membership “helps people become more themselves, leading them toward a greater sense of personal identity.”  Leadershipnow blog summarizes it as the below:
• Validation: It’s not just me. Although you may be most in your element when you are working alone, “there’s a tacit awareness of a field – the other writers, other painters, other mathematicians, other players, who enrich the domain and challenge their sense of possibility.” Physicist John wheeler said, “If you don’t kick things around with people, you are out of it. Nobody, I always say, can be anybody without somebody being around.”
• Inspiration: How do they do that? “Members of a passionate community tend to drive each other to explore the real extent of their talents…. Tribes are circles of influence, and they can take many forms…. When tribes gather in the same place, the opportunities for mutual inspiration can become intense.”
• Alchemy of synergy: The power of tribes is exemplified in the synergy created when groups of people with similar interests come together and create something much greater than any one of them could create individually. Robinson attributes this to the fact that creative teams are diverse, dynamic and distinct or purposeful.

Great Book for All MBAs and Business People

I read More Than Money: Questions Every MBA Needs to Answer written by Mark Albion, a former HBS professor, right before I left the US, and thought that did a good job capturing some of the issues with a "business" education, particularly with measuring success with money and public recognition.  He argues that if we "put “contribution” – crucial to a meaningful life – on an equal footing with money, what we perceive as our safest career choices may actually be our riskiest, and vice versa”

Here is the cliff notes version of his book with a list of advice and questions to ask ourselves that I thought to share with everyone:

1.    Don’t get really good at what you don’t want to do

·         What did you want to do before the world “should” on you?

·         What did you love to do when you were around 11 or 12?

·         Who are your heroes, why do I admire them?

·         Do you dislike what you do? If so, why do you do it?

·         Outside your family, what do you do that gives you joy?

2.    Listen to the little voice: the word "vocation" derives from Latin vocare, which means “to call” – your calling, so listen to your authentic self, not the voice of judgement from others, if you are driven to prove your worthiness to others, you’ve handed over your life to the voice of judgement. Find your voice by following the love/passion and serving people, take a deep breath and trust in people who care about you, they will help you dig deeper and be true to the voice. Take risks and let go of control at times.  Listening to your inner voice requires you to go outside yourself and be aware of what’s happening around you. 

·         When do you feel authentic?

·         Who are your voices of judgment?

·         What do they say and how do you deal with them?

3.       Broaden your vision in life with perspective and understanding: some ways to do this are: 

       (a)  When you have to make a decision, call your bright friends to get their take….”perspective is worth 100 IQ points” 

       (b) Deepen your understanding of who you are through a range of relationships so you don’t risk limiting your potential.  Consider this, who we re is very much in relation to others, to a set of values and expectations we call “culture".  Philosopher Charles Handy said “True individuality is necessarily social”.  Labels like “I’m an engineer at Microsoft” are narrow visions of what defines us; however, it does not encompass the breadth of our life or our possibilities and potential.

       (c) Travel the world and talk to grandmas.  

·         How would you define yourself as broadly as possible?

·         When people ask you who you are, what do you say? Consider different variations depending on the situation and who is doing the asking

·         Think about who you are as defined by four different people in your life.  What do those definitions have in common?

·         Without your current job or family, who are you?  Think as broadly as possible about your definition

4.       Know how you measure success:  Warren Buffett said "Success is getting what you want.  Happiness is wanting what you have". So work to achieve a big HAVE or live to have a small WANT.  Consider the following 4 metrics when it comes to measuring success: (a) service to the community (b) service to the dollar (c) service to the family (d) service to the soul or self.  How do you score?  How do you prioritize them? Is it balanced?

·         How do you define being a “good” person? What does the “good life” mean to you?

·         How do or did your parents measure success? How have their measures and those of business school and your peers affected your notion of “success?”

5.       Money doesn’t talk, it swears: when you set a goal related to something, like money,  your price is that your attempt to reach your goal will influence who you are

·         How much is enough?  How much money do you need each year to have a decent standard of living? How much to retire? What is the impact of those numbers on your options of what you can do?

·         What are you willing to give up to make more money?

·         What do you see as the biggest risk in your relationship with money?

6.       Don’t treasure your trash and trash your treasures: B-school teach the mantra of growth and promotion, but sometimes shrinking/de-promotion may be a better plan

·         How would you handle a values conflict with your employer?  What personal values are inviolate?

·         How might you shrink the demands of your career yet have more impact?

7.       Turn your value into Value: it's your will more than your skill

·         Take a look back at your career to date. What constants do you see among your various jobs?

·         What do you see as your biggest strengths?  How do they support your passion and future successes?

·         How can you turn your values into Value? How do your values make you more valuable to your company?

·         To focus your energies, what things should you be clear to not do?

8.       Keep your walking costs low: we make changes when the pain of no change > fear of change.  There are 3 types of walking costs: economics risk (i.e. financial concerns), performance risk (i.e. resume concerns), psychosocial risk (i.e. identify concerns)

             ·         What fears are keeping you from pursuing your hopes?

             ·         What can you do to reduce your perceived riskt?

9.       Don’t live a deferred life plan

·         To make changes in your career, how do you feel about small changes vs. dramatic leaps?  What factors would affect how dramatic a change you might make?

10.    Look not at the masses but at the one: MBAs get caught up in numbers, it’s all about doing something “big”; don’t fall into that trap, instead, focus on “small deeds with great love”

·       Reflect on your daily conversations, primarily at work.  What values and life perspectives do they reflect

·         How do you think about and measure your impact?

·         What obstacles do you have to overcome to have your desired impact?

·         What “small” deeds can you do to increase someone’s feelings of appreciation and contribution? Consider one specific person as an example

11.   Surround yourself with a community of love: in Xhosa language, Úbuntu ngumntu ngabanye abantu” which means “a person can only be a person through other persons”, feeling connected to others and to a community is an essential need 

·         What would your ideal work community look like?

·         Are you a “responsible” member of your work community?  How could you improve?

12.  Plant trees under whose shade you’ll never sit: you’ll be remembered more for who you are than for what you did, more for the size of your heart than the size of your wallet, more for how much you gave away than for how much you made.  You’ll be remembered as much for your kindness as for your wisdom

             ·         How can you best balance your short-term needs with your long-term goals?

Another Post on Ben Okri

Writers are Listeners – Storymoja Hay Fest 2011

Posted: 19 Sep 2011 02:22 AM PDT
Written by Clifton Gachagua

Ben Okri reading one of his poems at the British Council tent, Storymoja Hay festival 2011. To the far left is panelist Daniel Waweru and to the near right is panelist Milton Obote. The session was at the British Council tent. An enthusiastic crowd had gathered, filling the tent to capacity.

Ben Okri started off by saying it was a pleasure to be in Kenya. This was his first visit. He felt in retrospect that he should have left his home country Nigeria in his 20s and visited the whole of Africa with only a notebook and some biros. He termed the Storymoja Hay festival as one of the most important festivals in Africa with stimulates literature, the sharing of ideas and the meeting of minds and spirits.

He started off by reading My Mother Sleeps. Then he read The Difficulty of Seeing. While explaining the latter poem, he said that one of his biggest interests was the paradox of seeing. That seeing is not just opening one’s eyes. The he read The Rhino. A poem made of four lines.

At one time, school children in UK had approached him to propose to them a list of ten great books they should read before they finished school. Like most of the other writers who had been approached to do the same, he found difficulty in listing only ten books, so he came up with what he calls Ten and a Half Inclinations published in his book, A Time for New Dreams.

1. Read the books your parents hate
2. Read the books your parents love
3. Have one or two authors that speak to you and make their work your secret passion
4. Read widely for fun, for stimulation, for escape
5. Don’t read what everyone else is reading, check them out later, cautiously
6. Read the books you are not supposed to read
7. Read for your own liberation and mental freedom
8. Books are like mirrors, don’t just read the words, go into the mirror, that’s where the real secrets are, inside, behind. That’s where the gods dream, where our realities are born.
10.5 Read the world. Read the world. It is the most mysterious book of all.

On being asked if he classified himself as an African writer, Okri’s reply was “It is a huge debate. A writer is a huge responsive being of undercurrents and overcurrents, of dreams, futures and histories. Writers are listeners. They don’t even know what they are listening to. Their ears are like the roots of a tree, that grow downwards, upwards and sideways. Writers are writers. Writers should write with no boundaries. There is no this is what you are supposed to write about.”  He mentioned that the danger of him classifying himself as an African writer would be than he could further be inclined to say that he is a Nigerian writer, then further that he is a Lagos writer, and then further that he is a writer from the specific street he grew up in.

Another set of aphorisms; hearing the African rhythm.

- Heart shaped Africa is the feeling centre of the world
- Continents are metaphors
- A people are spiritual states of humanity as distinguishable in what they represent as roses, lions and stars.
- Have we forgotten what Africa is?
- Africa is our dreamland, our spiritual homeland
- There is a realm inside everyone that is Africa. We all have an Africa within.
- When the Africa outside is sick with troubles, the Africa inside us makes us sick with neurosis.
- The sheer quantity of inexplicable psychic illness in the world is possibly  indirectly connected to the troubles in Africa.
- We have to heal the Africa in us if we are going to be whole again.
- We have to heal the Africa outside us if the human race is going to be at peace again in a new dynamic way
- There is a relationship between the troubles in a people and the troubles in the atmosphere of the world.
- The troubles of Africa contribute immensely to the sheer weight and size of world suffering.
- And this world suffering affects everyone on the planet, affects children and their health, affects our sleep, our anxiety and our unknown suffering.
- For it is possible to suffer without knowing it.
- We have to heal the Africa within. We have to rediscover the true Africa. The Africa of laughter, of joy, of improvisation, of originality, the Africa of myths and legends, storytelling, playfulness, the Africa of generosity, of hospitality, of compassion, the Africa of wisdom, aesthitism and divination, the Africa of paradox, proverbs, and surprise; the Africa of magic, faith, patience and endurance; the Africa of a fourth dimensional attitude to time; the Africa of a profound knowledge of nature’s ways and the secret cycles of destiny.
- We have to rediscover Africa. The first encounter of Africa by Europe was the wrong one. It was not an encounter, it was an appropriation, what they saw and bequithed to the future ages was in fact a misperception. They did not see Africa. This wrong seeing of Africa is part of the problems of today. Africa was seen through greed and what could be got from her. This justified all kinds of injustice.
- What you see is what you make. What you see in people is what you eventually create in them.
- It is now time for a new seeing, it is now time to flare the darkness on the eyes of the world.
- The world should now begin to see the light in Africa, its possibilities, its beauties, its jeers
- If we see it, it will be revealed. We always see what we are prepared to see. Only what we see anew is revealed to us.
- Africa has been waiting for centuries to be discovered with the eyes of love, with the eyes of a lover.
- There is no true theme without love.
- We have to learn to love the Africa in us if humanity is going to begin to know true happiness in this world.
- We love the America in us, the Europe in us, the Asia in us we are beginning to respect. Only the Africa in us is unloved, unseen, unappreciated.
- The first step towards the exoneration of humanity is making whole again all these great continents within us.
- We are the sum total of humanity.
- Every individual is all humanity.
- It is Africa’s time to smile
- That would be the loveliest gift of the 21st century, to make Africa smile again.
- Then humanity can begin to think about the universe, even the remote stars as its true home.

Ben Okri has been quiet a big influence in the Storymoja Hay festival. At the Bic tent for children, several portraits of the writer are on display.

Ben Okri, my new intellectual crush!

Ben Okri was Africa's most famous novelist and poet who won a Man Booker Prize for The Famished Road.  Being oblivious to the literary world and not much into poems, I didn't think of his visit to the Storymoja Hay Festival as big of a deal as everyone else, until I went to one of his readings.  I am now a total believer and fan! He is such a genius of beautiful words/brilliant sentences, sees life with such depth and openness, and has the courage to continuously pioneer a new frontier of thoughts in order to move the civilization forward.

Okri is fascinated with the many realities of humanity, the duality of life, this constant push and pull between form and spirits, and how one makes the most out of the constraint of form.  "Too much form means not enough spirit and too much spirit means not enough form".  In fact, human life itself illustrates such struggle.  We are all bound in our 6' x 2' form, our bodies, yet what's contained within our bodies are so much more!  Our spirit can expand in time and space and imagine what life is like hundreds of years ago or empathize with someone else from a different land and tradition.  We are constantly learning and trying to balance our spirits desire to expand with the practical constraint of our form.  Same duality can be seen in atoms with the opposing force of separating and attracting; that force is what makes up the world, and what makes the world interesting and beautiful.

The opening paragraph of The Famished Road reads beautifully..."In the beginning, there was a river. The river became a road and the road branched out to the whole world.  And because the road was once a river, it was always hungry"  River is water, water is fluid and full of possibilities, but it lacks form, you cannot control it.  Once it becomes the rigid road, it loses some of its original fluidity and creativity, however, the form brings other values by connecting people/traditions, enabling commerce...etc. Something is lost, but something is also gained from it.  I think this resembles human life as well...when we were first born into this world, we have many dreams, and it's limitless, we can fly around the world with Peter Pan or have a tea party with teddy bears...as we grow, we become more rigid as we "define" who we are, what we want, and start to pass quick judgement to things we think we know we don't like or don't want.  We take a more rigid form based on our tradition, language, and experiences.  This form allows us to focus, to add functional value to the world, to the economy, but it suffocate our ability to dream.  Because we once was able to dream without limit, we will always long for those dream and creativity after we have taken our forms. (just think, many of us working 8-5 jobs often doubt if this is it for our lives?  will we ever be able to do something more interesting?) The struggle and the beauty, I suppose, is in the "balance"...and in the balance we can find sanity and love and joy in life.  How to achieve such balance perhaps is the learning for our life times.

Another interesting way Ben Okri has explored this was by released a poem one sentence a day on Twitter earlier this year, with the word limits on Twitter, he is challenged to not waste any words and strive to have words work together so that each word end up express more than it could on its own.   Here was his poem, a great way to state a New Year resolution, isn't it?

O that abstract garden of being
Tells me to be brave, and clear,
In the fire of living,
And in the journey through the year.
So I will grow me like an oak tree
And make life’s honey like a bee.
Each day I will walk an interesting mile
And with the sun I’ll share a smile.
I will play again like a child,
And celebrate what’s wild.
I will swim in every sea or river,
And reflect the light of the sublime giver.
I will be at ease with opposition,
And will cultivate intuition.
I will walk the surprising streets,
And dance to life’s unexpected beats.
I will notice all the phases of the moon
And try not to act too late or too soon.
I will write something new every day
And look at paintings in an alternative way.
I’ll not dream the same way twice;
But I’ll not be shy to repeat what’s nice.
I’ll have the courage, when needed, to change;
And I won’t forget that life is strange.
And so I’ll learn to love the simple things
As well as the complexity that life brings.
Good or bad I’ll learn to treat the same
And I’ll not forget that it’s all a mysterious game.
I’ll not let that general fear of death run my life
Into the higher realms I will enter
O that abstract garden, make me clear,
Make me brave, without fear.
I intend to love this rich new year.

Another one of his twitter poems:

I sing a new freedom
I sing a new freedom
Freedom with discipline.
We need freedom to rise higher.
Be true to yourself
In the follies of our times.
Become what you are
In this era of economic crimes.
Only the free in spirit
Will find their way out of this maze.
We are children of the stars.
We ought to amaze.

...and my favourite one:
As clouds pass above our heads
So time passes through our lives.
Where does it go,
And when it passes,
What do we have to show?
We can plant deeds in time
As gardners plant roses.
We can plant thoughts, or good words too
Especially if they are noble and true.
Time is an act of consciousness:
One of the greatest forces
Of the material world.
We ought to use time
Like emperors of the mind:
Do magic things that the future,
Surprised, will find.
We could change our life today
And seek out a higher way.
The Buddha sat beneath a tree
And from all illusion became free.
And as we travel on this life that is a sea
We can glimpse eternity.
We can join that growing fight
To stop our world being plunged into night.
We can wake to the power of our voice
Change the world with the power of our choice.
But there is nothing we can do
If we don’t begin to think anew.
We are not much more than what we think;
In our minds we swim or sink.
If there is one secret I’d like to share
It’s that we are what we dream
Or what we fear.
So dream a good dream today
And keep it going in every way.
Let each moment of our life
Somehow help the good fight
Or help spread some light.
The wise say life is a dream;
And soon the dream is done.
But what you did in the dream
Is all that counts beneath the sun.
The dream is real, and the real is a dream
Each one of us is a powerful being.
Wake up to what you are,
You are a sun, you are a star.
Wake up to what you can be.
Search, search for a new destiny

• His BBC interview on the economic meltdown and his new book A Time for New Dreams
• Ben Okri Lines in potentis: while a bit mythical, deeply inspiring
• Ben Okri reads from his new book A Time for New Dreams
• Ben Okri reads selected poems
• Some interesting Ben Okri quotes to ponder:
• “We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there. Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected.”
• “Politics is the art of the possible; creativity is the art of the impossible."
• "Tolerance depends on the quality of imagination, the capacity to step out of your own world view into another...but you can only do that when you have respect for other world views and believe in the possibility of other validities"
• "Life demands constant openness"
• "Literature is a magic mirror that allows us to see ourselves much more clearly' and 'The writers job is to look deep, listen profoundly and write truthfully"

He says that poets are often weird people, they are like a wrecked ship...because they are not whole, they have the capability to let the world's spirit enter them and create works that serves as mirror to humanity.  This explains a lot, and I've now have a new found respect for artists and poets.

What are you running from?

Met a Kenyan chap called Daniel D'uwa at the Storymoja Hay Festival over the weekend, he was helping a friend at the event, but is a producer/writer.  We started talking about what we do, why we are where we are...etc.  I explained that I've moved around the world, and am now in Kenya because I was interested in doing something more social...he asked me politely afterwards "what are you running from?"  The question caught me off guard because I didn't get the relevancy, so we got into a bit of bantering on whether or not I'm running from anything at all.  In my mind, I wasn't running away from things, but on a journey searching for something bigger and more meaningful.  I don't know what it is, but figuring that out is part of the journey.  However, the more we talked about this "running away" subject, the more it starts to make me think.  Daniel believes that everyone is running from something, they may not know it, but they are.  Putting aside whether that theory is valid or not, I think the question is worth asking oneself even if the eventual answer is "I'm not running away from anything"...

Since I can't answer the question myself, I asked him what is HE running from?  He said, "I'm not sure, but I think I'm running from greatness"...while I found the answer a bit arrogant, I always find it admirable to see confidence from people who have had very little compare to the rest of the world yet believe they can achieve so much.

The idea of running away from "greatness" was intriguing, and struck a chord with me.  To me, "greatness" as the ability to achieve great things through leadership, to mobilize resource beyond oneself, and to guide others to achieve greatness themselves.  People that have achieved this that come to mind are Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, and the likes.  There are many people in the world who are extremely intelligent, compassionate and capable to make a big difference, but there are very few that has the courage to lead and actually achieve "greatness".  (of course, on the flip side, there are also lots of people who has the courage to lead, but are leading without a lot of capability/intellect/compassion, so end up screwing up the world). "Greatness" is not scary when it's so far out of one's reach, it's something romantic, something to aspire to.  Greatness is also not scary when you're already determine to achieve it, despite of whether you will succeed or not. To me, "greatness" is scariest at the inflection point when someone is in a position where he/she realizes there's a potential for him/her to achieve greatness, and I believe the sense of tremendous responsibility and the risk of failing, of disappointing others is what make it scary...

Thinking back, I can think of many people I've met who are extremely smart, well educated, and decided to stick to a well-paid 8 to 5 job and a stable suburban life, nothing wrong with that, however, many of them are deeply dissatisfied with all the things going on around their community and in the world despite of their nice lives.  I belong to this camp myself, and think that eventually I just want a simple job, a simple family life...however, are we running from achieving greatness by settling for an easy life?  We are all very lucky to have what we have and get to where we are today...great education, secure jobs, good network of successful friends...isn't there a level of burden and responsibility that comes with it, especially if we are seeing things in the world that's unjust and bothers us...if we have the ability to make a change, even if it's a small one, should we go for it because if we don't, who will?  Are we running from our own version of "greatness" sometimes?

So, what are you running from?

Bad words in Kiswahili slang

Kenyans are very polite so there isn't a lot of very bad words, when I ask someone to teach me some bad words, it took them a while to come up with the below short list, which isn't really that horrible...

• Haga = ass... "wewe ni haga sana" = you are such an ass
• Fala = stupid...'fala sana" = so stupid
• Toast (like the bread) = stupid..."you're so toast" (it means stupid because it's like your head is toasted, makes total sense)

Pole pole

"pole pole" captures probably 50% of what's going on in Africa...it means, "slowly slowly"..."pole" also means "sorry", but I'm not sure people are sorry about being slow...I had expected this so have kind of just laughed it off when someone living 10 min away tells you "I'm on my way", but show up 3 hours later...however, when I had to wait for 12 hours with nothing else to do, and asking for a "real real REAL deadline" never get me anywhere, it really got to me...

I'm not sure why this is the case, I don't think Africans are particularly more lazy than others...a couple hypothesis on this topic:
1) Lots of sun light: there was a theory that the further out you're from the equator, from an agricultural perspective, you have to be more precise on time because you lose sun light very quickly for farming if you are not mindful of the time.  Being right here by the equator, Africans have the luxury of having great sun lights, so doesn't have a lot of incentive to be mindful of time
2) Planning isn't really a strong skill around here: my boss tells me, the furthest out people plan around here is what to do after lunch.  And this is the case because based on the history here, all sorts of bad things happen around here, who knows what's going to happen to you next?  There's no reliable infrastructure or service to count on, when people cannot count on any sort of system, you'll just have to get used to going with the flow, so...why plan? Also, most live under extreme poverty, and people don't expect to live a very long life...in fact, some don't expect to live 48 hours from now, so, what's the point of long-term planning?  The fact that I am constantly thinking about my life plan is truly a luxury and a blessing.

I think both are valid arguments, but when I talk to my Kenyan friends, they just say, doesn't really matter why, just go with it...this is Africa, man, pole pole!

Service/Assistance Fee vs. Bribery Explained

I've always been fascinated by the practice of bribery in some parts of the world.  Now I'm in Kenya, it's becoming a bigger part of my life than before, and I'm determined to figure out the art of bribing in this world where the practice is so commonplace yet anti-corruption activities are equally strong.  So, how does it work?

To start off, I was told there is a difference between bribing/corruption and bribing/paying a service/expedition fee.  In the situation where you need something done, for example, get your drivers license renewed, get a visa...etc.  If you don't pay a service fee, don't expect it to get done for months as the paperworks are piled from floor to ceiling and the people are not paid enough to be motivated to do a good job.  So, how do you motivate them?  Pay a little service/assistance fee.  This saves you days of waiting at the office and getting nothing accomplished.

How the service fee work is that when you go to the office, the clerk will pretty much tell you up front how much it will be if you want to get your thing done (unless you are a foreigner, then they may dance around a little bit, but eventually you'll know the price).  Then, the fee you pay is distributed to all the parties that is involved in approving something.  So in a way, everyone up and down the chain of comment honours this practice of "expedited service"...for example, if you would like to get a work permit (which is very difficult in Kenya), you may pay a little extra fee for assistance, everyone along the command chain get's paid, however, the most amazing part is, if the permit is denied at the end, then somehow, you'll get the money back from everybody.  I find this very endearing about Kenyans...these are already under the table money, yet, they are still honest enough to refund when a service is not complete. THAT is something.  You may ask, what about accounting and audits? how do you put these "service fees" that sometimes amounts to a few hundred dollars a pop on the book?  Don't worry, they will give you a receipt so it can legally be deducted from your admin cost center.

So then, what counts as corruption?   How it was explained to me is that if you got pulled over by the police for violating a traffic rule, and you bribe him to get out of trouble, then that's corruption.  If you pay someone to get a job offer, that's corruption.  Apparently corruption is not just local here, but has permeated into the United Nation and various large organizations.   The kind of things I've heard about these supposedly altruistic/honourable institutions have been just shocking...I think flat out corruption bugs me less than hypocracy I suppose.

I am a "bountiful cow"...

Last May during my visit to Maasai Mara, I was given a Maasai name "Nalepo" by the boys who guarded our camp.  It was explained to me that Nalepo means "the wealthy one", which make sense, because supposedly my friends got names that meant "the eager one (nashyoku)" and "the loved one (nashyopei)".

This September, the truth came out.  Our office night guard Silantoi is a Maasai, so I told him my Maasai name, he laughed, and I asked him, what does it mean?  Apparently, it means a bountiful cow...I suppose it's somewhat related to being full of wealth, except, I'm the one being milked vs. bringing in the milk!  No wonder there was a lot of giggle that night when the Maasai boys named us in the camp...

Now every morning, Silantoi greets me with my Maasai name...it doesn't feel so nice anymore...I want a new Maasai name...moooo~

Pastor Chris and the marriage ministry

Pastor Chris Ojigbani from Nigeria is in town this week!  He runs the Covenant of Single and Married Ministries that focus on getting the single ladies and man married and helping fix trouble marriages.  According to an interview done at the local radio station on the way to work, the guy used to be a business man, but one day, God spoke to him and told him he should focus his life on getting people married.  He believes that it's not devil's work that people are delaying getting married, but it's lack of knowledge or believing in the wrong things about marriage that's causing problems.  He holds big events in auditoriums and attracts thousands of people to come.  He was in Kenya last time and was surprised at the amount of single people here, so here he comes again.  A very interesting person, very passionate pastor, very interesting concept...the fact it's from Nigeria makes my "this could be a scam" antenna go up (sorry for the stereotype, my Nigerian friends), the guy seems nice, and I am curious about what he has to say, but I think I might just stick to a prayer from him...see below video (quite amusing), I'll let you know if I find a husband by the end of this week!

• Here's a prayer video for all my single friends...look at it and you shall find a spouse by the end of the week...pastor chris has said it and so shall it be!
• Pastor Chris' Facebook Page

Fried tilapia (minus chips) from "McFry" for 150ksh

This is a staple diet for my coworkers...was super hungry after running some errands with co-worker Thomas...so we went to "McFry", which sells freshly fried tilapias for dinner takeaway (that's British for take outs)...I opted out the chips from the combo...it's yummy, and I can totally see its place in the Minnesota State Fair, the only thing missing is putting it on a stick!

On the way back to our car, I asked Thomas, do people think I'm Chinese or Japanese when they see my face?  (I asked because my Kenyan friends are always asking me how much things are in Japan, but I don't live there! or, they'll ask, does this supermarket remind you of China?  but I'm not from China!  I'm from Taiwan/US.)...Before Thomas answered, some guys walked by us, and said "Chinese girl, Japanese girl, doesn't matter, just a beautiful girl!"... I am glad that they do not discriminate between Chinese and Japanese, but I wasn't sure if I should be flattered, or be a bit concerned/embarrassed that our private conversation just suddenly become a public discussion.

This brought us to another topic, apparently in Kenya, especially in the city, it's "hip" to have a foreign girlfriend.  If a Kenyan guy is seen with a foreign girl, he'll be the envy of all the other guys...they will be wondering, "how were you able to capture the heart of a foreign girl?  what trick do you have?"... and, the belief is that, the love between the Kenyan man and a foreign girl is firmer than with a Kenyan girl...maybe because the foreign girl is more rare, so they will treasure her more...but still, sounds pretty messed up to me! facination does not equal love.

Nairobi Week 2: officially 2 degrees of separation from Steve Jobs and am now a proud parent of a baby elephant!

This has been a busy week with d.light's senior leadership team in town.  Some highlights:

• All the Kenyan around me have this amused look when i attempt to speak/learn Swahili
• I am now officially 2 degree of separation from Steve Jobs as our new head of R&D used to work with him, it was pretty cool to hear about how Apple does innovation
• Had the best meal in Nairobi so far at this Indian restaurant called Open House...also satisfied my roomali roti craving :)  There is a big Indian population in Kenya because way back, the British brought a lot of engineers from India to Kenya to build rail roads, and these folks stayed afterwards
• Wrapped up work week with traffic jam to city center, traffic is notorious in Nairobi, and basically it's to the point where you could be just parked on the road for hours unless you make your own road...and in this case, we're driving off the road because the matatus from the other direction decided to make a 2 way lane, 2 one-way lanes and end up riding on our side of the road, so we had to go around, something not uncommon here...it's amazing what you can do with a regular toyota sedan.

 

• Visited the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust/Elephant Orphanage over the weekend.  We got there just in time for the feeding, these baby elephants literally charged into this ring where the milk is, and downed 2 bottles of special formula in a matter of minutes...then they proceed to be their cute selves and played a bit...The organization find these orphaned elephant all over the place and because they are milk dependent while little, they are brought to the nursery, and raised til they are old enough (12-13years), then released back to Tsavo National Park.  The keeper sleeps with the elephants every day but rotate so the elephants don't get too attached to them.  I immediately fell in love with the youngest elephant in the first group, Naipoki, she was born in Oct 2010, and was found in Namunyak Conservancy in Northwen Kenya.  She got rescued after being found fallen in the well, and her clumsiness and troublemaking nature could totally be observed even in the few minutes she was on the feeding ground.  She is also super affectionate and keeps hugging the keepers with her trunk.
• The Keeper's Diary with Naipoki
• Naipoki's Profile
• Where Naipoki was found
• Naipoki's Photo

• Went shopping at "Junction" shopping mall, where there is a Nakumatt (the Kenyan Walmart, sells from electronics, grocery to wedding dresses), KFC (the latest buzz, have heard the wait in line ~ 1hr), and a Planet Yogurt (also a recent hot spot, similar to a Pinkberry), in addition to a list of restaurants and stores, shopping at Junction makes you forget that you're in Kenya since all the shops are super nice...there are a ridiculous amount of shopping malls in Nairobi, and traffic in the parking lot is pretty insane as well, especially at month-end (when people get paid) and on weekends.  I'm convinced that someone must bring Chitpole here since there's no Mexican restaurant, if people are willing to wait 1 hour for chicken, I think chitpole will have even a bigger draw!

• Sunday was laundry day...I woke up with no electricity, so I had to boil water on the stove to add to my sink so the laundry powder can properly dissolve...good times.

10 things...

10 things I miss the most from the US...
10. Puffs Plus Lotion with the Scent of Vicks Facial Tissues: having been blowing my nose every 30min for 10 days on cheap toilet paper really makes me miss this product from the developing world
9. Libraries/Book Stores: where you can sit and browse all sorts of books and get exposed to various things for free!  I also miss being able to just go online and request a book, a music CD, or a DVD from the library and get tons of stuff waiting for me to pick up and browse through at the library.  Reading for pleasure isn't really something encouraged here in Kenya, people read to pass exams, reading for pleasure I was told is even looked upon as a waste of time.  As a result, reading is a bit of an "upper class" privilege; not only is the book selection limited, all the books are sealed...I'm not much of an avid reader, but having the physical access to these things is still something I deeply appreciate and miss.
8. My Kitchen Tools: having worked for a kitchenware company I was blessed with a ton of awesome kitchen tools that made cooking/baking much more fun.  My flat came with a knife that's pretty dull and a peeler that doesn't really peel...I'm also missing the measuring tools for baking...may have to try eyeballing it, not sure how it'll work when it comes to baking...
7. Being Middle Class: it's a very odd feeling to be an "elite" and have everyone seeing you as a wealthy muzungu (i.e. gringo or foreigner)...having been brought up middle class, I've always feel awkward owning expensive items or spending money on something extravagant/showy.  There's almost some comfort in the ability to blend in and being just another an "average joe"...but here, even though I do not wear flashy clothing, by the very nature of my skin color people think that I'm wealthy, which I suppose is relatively true considering the GDP here, and there's nothing I can do to change people's opinion about me...being someone who's very much interested in being "one of them", and having somewhat mastered the skill to "blend in" in the many moves I've had in the past, this is truly the first time I'll just have to be comfortable being different and find a way to leverage it.
6. Good Bread and Pastry from a Decent Bakery: no need for the Pierre Hermes or
5. A Proper Map where the roads on the map actually exists...there's not really a good system here, so giving direction is mostly based on landmarks...the one map of Nairobi I got has roads that no longer exist and does not have roads that's pretty important, so it took me several hours to roughly guess where I live and where everything else is relative to where I live
4. Big selection of junk food...I loved browsing through the grocery store and finding new things...while there are giant supermarkets here, the variety of packaged food offering is relatively blend and unimaginative...
3. Discovering things off the beaten path: Nairobi is not a very walkable city for a single foreign girl like me...so every time I go out, it's always pre-planned, so I do miss walking in the city center, and discovering this boutique shop in this hidden street, or that bakery in that corner...
2. Friends I can just call up for a walk in the middle of the night: what I missed the most from college days to Minneapolis were friends who lived nearby that can just be called up in minutes notice to take a walk around the lake...obviously, walking in the middle of the night probably wouldn't be wise in Nairobi, I suppose I can always chat my heart out with my night guard, but it's just not the same
1. Freedom to go anywhere I want, whenever I want with either my own car or easily accessible public transportation:

10 Thing I am Digging about Nairobi...
10. There's a Service for Everything! for a price, you can get service from laundry to taxi to whatever you wish, there are plenty of people looking for work, now the quality may not be the greatest, but there will be someone who's willing to do it for you
9. Getting Out of Nairobi...there's lots of towns nearby to go hike, going to hike the Menengai Crater soon, so very excited about that...hopefully I can take a few weekend trips to Lamu + Taita Hill...etc. soon
8. How people say "nice" all the time: people smiles here! a lot! Everyone is very polite, I've never seen anyone fight, and everything is "nice"..."I suggest you go there, that's a nice way to get out of this traffic jam" "this is a very nice coffee shop" "she's a very nice lady" "you have a very nice purse" "oh, don't do that, that's not so nice"...etc.... and the way Kenya say the word "nice" makes it especially "nice", there's this calm, charming tone to it, imagine someone say the word nice with a smile deep into their heart...it sounds kind of like that...I later found out that in Swahili, all the nice things are expressed by "mzuri", there's not really a lot of difference in expression when it comes to that unlike in english, you would say amazing, beautiful, awesome...etc.  So I guess the direct translation into English really is just ..."nice"
7. Proper Greeting: not only do people smile a lot here, people actually take time to greet you properly here, ask you how you are, talk about the weather before getting into the business...somehow these "small talks" felt a bit different from the US, people seems to genuinely be interested in knowing how you are vs. asking something without really wanting to hear the answers...it's refreshing!
6. Getting all the different TV channels around the world...more than what I've ever had in the States
5. British English...it helps that I'm working with 2 british bosses + kenyan/nigerians...so British English is used almost daily... I started to "sort out" things instead of "figuring out things", and take "holidays" instead of "vacations"...maybe at the end of this I will be able to actually fake a British accent
4. Being Called and Treated like a Lady... guys actually comes outside to open your car door for you, or walk you to your door when taking you home...and always being addressed as "Ms. Arlin" or "Ms. Tao"...feel so proper this way
3. Diversity...all the different tribes have their own language and traditions, and everyone seems to be getting along, there isn't a lot of discrimination as far as I can tell, people from different religions get along with each other, and politics doesn't seems to get people too fired up, either.
2. African Time...while this can be frustrating when trying to get things done/fixed, I'm actually quite enjoying this coming from several years of stress from "I need this done yesterday"...when someone say he's 10 minutes away, that may really mean 1 hours depending on who is saying it and traffic...when someone says, I'll fix this "now", there's no real way to gauge if he means "now now" or "tomorrow now"...so if I can actually get someone to show up on time or actually having a meeting at a previously agreed meeting time, it feels like a huge triumph!  There are a lot of little things that can make my days in Nairobi!
1. My coworkers + friends... I'm really enjoying working with them and getting to know them, I've got a nice mix of Western and African culture in the office, so bouncing back and forth provides a nice variety...there's always a lot of jokes going around in the office, and I feel super comfortable expressing my thoughts since day 1, so "mzuri sana" (very nice).