Back in December I made a post that discussed the difficulty I have as a person to take a leap of faith in "G-d". After working in Africa for nearly 10 months now, while I'm still by no mean a super-duper religious person, I have to say that it has made me a person with slightly more faith than the girl that showed up in Nairobi 10 months ago.
I'm not sure when the transition occurred or how it happened, but I think it built over time with my growing sense of powerlessness. The more I know about the world, the less "powerful" / competent I feel. Firstly, when I walk out of the door, I'm not sure if I will make it home safely. I've witnessed so many horrendous car crashes in my daily short 10-15 minute taxi ride to the office. It occurred to me the other day that "I", have a very good chance of being one of those car crash victims given how crazy Nairobi drivers are. Secondly, when I show up somewhere in a business trip, I never know if I'll come back to Nairobi smoothly. Case in point, a couple months ago, I narrowly escaped being stuck in Mali during the coupe because of some scheduling conflicts. I was lucky. Just as the last example, for the next Kenyan election, no one knows if the tragedy/post-election violence will repeat itself, and I am not sure what I would do if I get stuck in the middle of it. Life is full of uncertainties, especially in Africa. However, we cannot be paralyzed by all these frustrating, and sometimes dangerous uncertainties. LIFE MUST GO ON.
Now I'm a bit more integrated into the lives here, I'm beginning to understand the overwhelming faith I observe in most Africans. It's partly because people feel powerless. The government and system cheats them on a consistent basis, and people are risking their lives everyday just to survive. Religion is one of a few things in which Africans can seek refuge. Unlike the government, Jesus is reliable (well, not to be irreverent, but this is probably because he's dead so no one can prove that he's not reliable, and also, if your wish wasn't granted by the All Mighty G-d, there's always some way one can justify internally why that was the case...in another word, since the unreliability of Jesus/G-d/Religion cannot be scientifically proven, this makes religion a better option than everything else that has been proven unreliable and corrupt). Also, the salvation Christianity/Islam promises seems like a great deal at the end of a very hard life that could make it all worthwhile. Life is not fair, but justice will be served at the end!
I still don't agree with Mr. Zambia that people are fundamentally evil hence there's a need for G-d. However, I've come to realize that there are SO MUCH out of my control in life, trying to manage everything will simply drive one insane. So, when something isn't going the way I want it to be, I no longer try to "will" my way into it. I started to "wish" things will get better because I am trying to do the right thing. When I repeatedly have to reschedule my trip to Nigeria, first due to an accident on the run way, second time due to an unknown "technical" issue, I quietly whisper to myself that maybe a "higher power" intended for me to miss the trip for a few days so I could avoid some huge disaster. When I am banging my head against the wall trying to make my Nigerian colleague to see how ridiculous certain business decisions are, I am secretly praying for a divine intervention that they can see the light before lose my sanity. When the thought that "these people are hopeless and I should give up" sometimes enter my head, I make my humble request to that higher Being to inject more hope, passion, and energy in me so I can keep charging on.
Faith, is not so bad after all... it feels liberating and energizing...I highly recommend it!
I'm not sure when the transition occurred or how it happened, but I think it built over time with my growing sense of powerlessness. The more I know about the world, the less "powerful" / competent I feel. Firstly, when I walk out of the door, I'm not sure if I will make it home safely. I've witnessed so many horrendous car crashes in my daily short 10-15 minute taxi ride to the office. It occurred to me the other day that "I", have a very good chance of being one of those car crash victims given how crazy Nairobi drivers are. Secondly, when I show up somewhere in a business trip, I never know if I'll come back to Nairobi smoothly. Case in point, a couple months ago, I narrowly escaped being stuck in Mali during the coupe because of some scheduling conflicts. I was lucky. Just as the last example, for the next Kenyan election, no one knows if the tragedy/post-election violence will repeat itself, and I am not sure what I would do if I get stuck in the middle of it. Life is full of uncertainties, especially in Africa. However, we cannot be paralyzed by all these frustrating, and sometimes dangerous uncertainties. LIFE MUST GO ON.
Now I'm a bit more integrated into the lives here, I'm beginning to understand the overwhelming faith I observe in most Africans. It's partly because people feel powerless. The government and system cheats them on a consistent basis, and people are risking their lives everyday just to survive. Religion is one of a few things in which Africans can seek refuge. Unlike the government, Jesus is reliable (well, not to be irreverent, but this is probably because he's dead so no one can prove that he's not reliable, and also, if your wish wasn't granted by the All Mighty G-d, there's always some way one can justify internally why that was the case...in another word, since the unreliability of Jesus/G-d/Religion cannot be scientifically proven, this makes religion a better option than everything else that has been proven unreliable and corrupt). Also, the salvation Christianity/Islam promises seems like a great deal at the end of a very hard life that could make it all worthwhile. Life is not fair, but justice will be served at the end!
Faith, is not so bad after all... it feels liberating and energizing...I highly recommend it!
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